Friday, January 28, 2011

Blast from the past, part 1: The 80s Japanese invasion, when we got hooked to robots and five colored superheroes

Let's go Japanese first. Early in the 80s, these Japanese live action shows got the whole country hooked! From Annie's white panties to Mask rider Black's ubber sexy appeal to the Red Mask's love affair with the enemy's daughter, most of us surely got hooked! Again, Mask Rider black is the most handsome Japanese actor I know of back then, and do you remember that his strongest enemy is actually his brother whose entirety represents a solar eclipse, while mask Rider Black represents a Lunar Eclipse? Do you remember that the first Yellow Four in Bioman died and was replaced by a lady archer? While Pink Five was the only one who survived a plague attack (I think). Do you remember when the Maskman's first robot was captured by the enemy and was pulled underground and it was replaced by a chubby looking robot? Do you remember that the Fiveman's base is actually a giant robot where their main robots merge in to have one awesomely powerful weapon of destruction?

To most of us, these shows are our weekend staples. We always look forward to watching these shows and afterwards, play with our friends as we play pretend and assume the role of our favorite hero or villain.

I am already 28, so many out there who are near my age and those who belong to the same age bracket, probably know the TV show opening themes of the live action kiddie shows posted below. As far as I can remember, these shows are every Saturdays or Sunday mornings. Do you guys remember them? By the way, when I was a young kid, I memorized Voltes V's ending them word per word.


Voltes V



Masked Rider Black




Thursday, January 27, 2011

Dahil sa isang commercial...

I stumbled upon this commercial in Youtube, and watched it again for the first time after so many years.

I wish I know how it feels to miss a family, because all I feel right now is longing for a complete one, even for just a moment.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My 2nd CD4 count; surprise, surprise!

New Yorker: Yesterday I found out my T-cells were low.
Counselor: What's your reaction?
New Yorker: Scared.
Counselor: How are you feeling today? Right now?
New Yorker: Okay, alright... Pretty good.
Counselor: So...?
New Yorker: This is the best I've felt for a long time, months.
Counselor: Then why choose fear?
New Yorker: I'm a New Yorker, fear is my life.
Canonista: Last Thursday, I found out my T-Cells were low.

141 points in 6 months, that means if it continues to go down at that speed, by June my CD4 will be at 244, 44 points away from being full blown. My doctors said I will be taking ARVs by June.

In just within 4 months, I got a second attack of Community Acquired Pneumonia. My first experience was terrible. This one is a bit mild than the first attack. I was lucky because during the day that I am scheduled to get my latest CD4 count was the same day my fever went as high as 39 degrees. During the night before at work, I already know I am going to get sick, I feel unusually cold but my temperature seemed okay, it was normal. I frequently visited the office clinic to check on my temperature which went a degree higher everytime I went there. Morning came and I went to the bird house to rest because I am already feeling weaker by the hour. I needed to rest before I travel several miles from Makati to San Lazaro.

When I got to San Lazaro at around 7:30 AM, my fever was already at 38 degrees, at 10 AM it went up to 39 degrees. The doctor gave me 1 week to rest and prescribed antibiotics as well as vitamin C and paracetamol. After the consultation, my doctor checked my latest CD4 result, and was a bit surprised to what she found out on my record... My CD4 dropped from 526 last June to just 385 this month, that's an alarming 141 points down. In most cases, the CD4 count drops only by 50 or 80 points every 6 months or every year in some.

Earlier today I decided to go back to San Lazaro to check if I can already go back to work. My fever was gone last Saturday, that was after I got Tonsilitis. "All clear" the doctor said, so I asked for a medical certificate and managed to get the document before noon. I'll be going back to work.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The music I listen to (Part 2 of 2)

My iTunes playlists play a big role in telling my story and keeping my history. Memories both happy and sad are kept in and can be cherished through my playlists. Some memories are not worth visiting again, so I deleted some playlists.

Generally, I am easily moved by the music I listen to. I have a close friend of mine who once told me that I don't have to live out the music I listen to. He witnessed a point in my life where I listen to such depressing songs that I am a walking emotional blackhole, people can just see a shroud of sadness as I walk. When I'm happy, people can see that, am that transparent perhaps, or that is just one side of me. What many don't know is what I keep deep inside me, that nobody sees and nobody knows or ever will. The story of the playlists started in 2009.

So as I played some songs and captured screenshots of playlists for this entry, memories started to unfold. Most are good ones, some are bittersweet, nothing that hurt tat much, because the playlists have been deleted.


I noticed a video post in Facebook about a deaf girl learning to play the violin, it a shampoo commercial and it was very touching. I tried listening to classical music, until I stumbled upon this guitar duo. They don't play classical in general, but they were able to pull off a few classical creations of the masters through their guitars. I have most of their albums.

Ika Unang Litrato

I met this boy and we clicked right away because we both share the same interests, hobbies, music, and we think alike. He has a style in photography that can fuse emotions using hues, and I used to write poetries for his photographs. If we can mirror personalities, he will be my reflection. I loves the band Fighstar and he has complete albums of them. We do the same things at the same time, think of the same things, and I thought we will be closer than friends. One day he stopped texting. I found he met someone new and they're together. More than a year later, I found out who that guy was, the one who captured the boy's heart, was one of my close friends. They're not together anymore.

Hardcore BoyPep
Hardcore BoyPep

I met this kid who I challenged to a name-that-tune game over the phone. He was able to guess everything I played , I lost the game because he music vocabulary is much broader than mine. He introduced me to many different genres and a lot of different bands and artists I never heard before, and I liked them all. We often play songs of Silent Sanctuary and Justin Onizuka whenever he sleeps over at my place as well as a lot of hardcore-screamo songs that I love so much and which he sings so well. He introduced me to hardcore music like Emarosa and Underoath. He's good in sport photography and does well in events. He has a good taste in color combinations in his drawings.

The ending year, 2009
The ending year 2009

I can't wait 2009 to end. It was my most emotionally breaking year. It was the year that I wish I have not met the one... He who flew like a comet from the vast darkness of space. A comet that flew so close to the lonely planet, so close it almost touched the ground and left it with burning trenches of where it passed. The planet is now forever scarred. He's a very good photographer.


With Hardcore PepBoy's influence, I was able to scream my anger and depression through music. I started to listen a lot to Underoath, who is a post-hardcore gospel band. Singing about faith, God, being human and how all of us are vulnerable, and there is one being who can save us all and who loves us, God.


...was Hardcore Pepboy's favorite band. They became my favorite too when I discovered their songs prior to them being part of Twilight's soundtrack. I was addicted to Paramore, and we watched the concert! It was my first time to watch a rock concert, or my first ever concert. It was truly a memorable night, Paramore, me and Hardcore PepBoy.

Here are two playlists that I consistently play during the days when I was just diagnosed.

Just been diagnosed

Flyleaf is a Christiam Rock band. According to what I've heard, the vocalist was a former drug addict who was banned in several Christian churches. Until one church accepted her, and she started to write songs about God.

Diagnosed, just been... May to June

Zooey Deschannel

Here's the story on how I discovered her music, click here.


Nothing, can shift my mood to happiness than Eraserheads. Whenever I want to feel up, hyper, and happy; I play their songs right away, no doubt I will be singing along to their songs and will sporting a smile on my face.

...and here are the rest of music files saved in a DVD. I don't have any more space left in my HD to store them in.



...To date, I have almost 35GB of music, and those are some of the stories of the music I listen to, and below is my iTunes Top 30.

iTunes Top 30

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The music I listen to (Part 1 of 2)

My music collection is quite diverse, from the hardcore Hip-hop beats of Krook & J.O.L.O, to the passionate songs of Usher, the heart breaking songs of Tyrese, the smoothly seductive vocal calisthenics of Maxwell, or the r&b-eroticism of Joe, or perhaps the emotionally packed lyrics of Utada Hikaru; to the classic alternative 90s music of Goo Goo Dolls, Dishwalla, Dave Matthews Band, Garbage, Smashing Pumpkins, Linkin Park(then and now), Counting Crows, Radiohead, Lisa Loeb, Mazzy Star; or go local to the songs of course my favorite local band of all time, the Eraserheads (I got 3 cassettes and 1 CD), Rivermaya ( I have a cassette of their first album), Paramita, Nyoy Volante, Paolo Santos, Nina, Bamboo, Hale, and a compilation CD of independent artists that frequently play at Saguijo... All of which I have an original CD copy, of course, that's my way of supporting the local music industry. They are just some of what composes my music library.

Audio CDs, I know we have the internet to thank for to get free music into our Macs or PCs, but still, nothing beats the satisfaction of owning an original CD of your favorite artist or band, specially when a whole album is worth every centavo. All of my CDs in my collection are rarely opened, once I bought them home from the store, I carefully open it, pop it in my Mac, rip, and store it to my shelf, along with the other CDs, books, and magazines I have. What I love about buying CDs is the smell of the glossy paper, it smells like a newly opened magazine. The lyrics that one can read, specially the art work along the lyrics sheet, one can just appreciate the graphic artist's work or the photographer or whoever made the illustration on the album cover and inside it. Having a CD is like having a book, you store it after you copy the songs, open it to visit it again, pop in the CD to any player and read along as the music plays. The feeling of owning a piece of that band's music or a part of an artist's work is gratifying. Knowing you supported the artists or bands by legally buying their work is nice, really nice. I breathe music, so I support the industry that not only entertains me, but gives me infinite inspiration and helps me get through this journey, in any way I can, no matter how small it may be.

Some of the CDs in my collection

When I was younger I have an entire 20GB music library in my iPod, that's a whopping 5,000 songs. These days, 5,000 songs or 20GB worth of music is considered a miniscule number to some. Not during the mid 2000s, that was quite a huge space and a hefty lot of files to carry around or just to have. I got my iPod as a birthday gift from Angel, and since then my music collection grew and grew. Here's a glimpse of what I have been listening when I was growing up or should I say, during my teens to early 20s. Here are the songs in my iPod named Youki...

I have not listened to my iPod for a very long time. Since I got my phone (A Samsung Corby qwerty), it has been my primary portable music player.

As you will see, I have a lot of Mariah Carey songs in the top 20s, I maybe perhaps not so different gay man after all.

To enlarge a photograph: click each photo, it will open into the flickr page, click "all sizes" option and it will be displayed in its biggest size available.

Youki's Top 100 (1 to 47)
1 to 48 iPod top 100

Youki's Top 100 (48 to 94)
48 to 94 iPod top 100

I love jazz music, I love jazz music when eating out, I love it when having dinner or during late nights at home. I love listening to jazz when I want to day dream or to feel cozy and fuzzy inside.

Youki's Jazz collection, here are just some of them.
My Jazz Collection

My favorite chillout tracks, makes me want to turn on a red light and drink some ice cold beer. The playlist in Youki's box is titled Soothing
Soothing playlist

The set of tracks as posted below are just some of the best songs I know that I love to play during a nice lunch outdoors, or while drinking lemonade near the bay on a hot summer day.

Youki's Lunch playlist

This set of songs are what I always want to hear after dinner, these songs just makes me want to sway and dance.

Youki's Dinner Dance playlist
Dinner dance

Do you want a little sumthin' with your baby and want to keep the music playing? Here are the best songs to a steamy night, so you'll hit it just right.

Youki's A Little Sumthin' Sumthin' playlist
A little sumthin sumthin

Love, whether you're inlove, our just came out of it. This is the playlist I love to listen to no matter what I am in or just been to, it is all about love.

Youki's Love playlist

Musical commonalities and personalities

I can have a decent bonding with some friends or close buddy or even just anyone without saying a word for hours on end with just good music on the background, music that we both like. Enjoying good company with the same taste in music as I have is like having a good conversation over a bottle of ice cold beer or a glass of sweet tasting red wine, only a few words exchanged with the occasional "let's listen to this one" remarks or "shit, this one is so nice..." or something like that. I have found a few rare individuals who have the same taste in music as I have, namely Mugen (the blogger), the Drummer Boy (my photographer friend), Hardcore BoyPep (another photographer friend/band vocalist), Yoyo (artist friend), Mr. Thick Lashes (an officemate), Rockista-Bokalista (a single served photographer acquaintance), the Goth Chick (a friend), Direk (a single served friend), The Bohemian (one of my greatest influences and a dear friend). I can't remember anymore names or faces that I can say shares the same interests in music that I have aside from the ones I mentioned. It is not that my taste in music is so distinct, it is just that they are the few people who also appreciates the same music I listen to.

Inspired by Mugen's entries regarding the music genres he likes as well as his music library and music files. I then create this post regarding the music I listen to and how it is essential to my life and to some of the relationships I keep with other people. It is true that one can tell a person's character or personality by the music he listens to, I do that. I can be mean sometimes by categorizing such characters as "a commoner", "the indie junkie", "the popper", "the variety show", "the global citizen", and "the underground lurker", "the lounge-clubber", "leave me alone".

The Commoner:
Listens to basically mainstream, or most of the time purely mainstream; music that everybody knows and is loved by the general population. They listen to what is "in" and what is the latest craze in the music charts. They listen to no particular genre as long as everyone likes it and feels good to listen at and it is popular.

The Indie Junkie:
Hates mainstream music, hates anything popular, hates pop, hates kpop, and does not like music that most people listen to. Once an indie band has gone mainstream, he dismisses them from one of his playlist, but not entirely delete them from his music library. Loves the unpopular but talented. Beware of pretentious people trying to be "indie", who think appreciating indie music is cool. Listening to indie music is more than appreciating it, it is listening, feeling and understanding what the artist wants to say, just like in any other genre out there. They are called indie because they are not signed to any record label out there, in short they are independent, so stay away poser1

The Popper:
No, this is not the drug, instead, these are the types of people in my dictionary who loves the colorful, the "in", the kpop, the jpop, who are or think that they are fashionistas and adores Lady Gaga so much they themselves are becoming as crazy as her and looking ridiculously annoying I just want to vomit. People who fall under this category are mostly gay men and kikay girls.

The Variety Show:
Er... Need I say more? Listen to what's hot in the noontime and the primetime variety show playlist and these people don't just sing it but dance it. Listens to the masa radio stations, which I find very amusing and annoyingly funny at the same time. Hey, I did say funny, I do laugh at their jokes and the witty commentaries of most DJs in the popular masa stations. If I need a good laugh, I pop in my earphones and tune in to one of the many.

The Global Citizen:
Yes, as the word global is, this is the most diverse, and the music they listen to breaks the language they are familiar with. They don't just listen to kpop, jpop, or whatever pop it may be; but they listen to any song of any language as long as it is music to their ears. There are some singers who can sing in not just one language but many. Some of theme are... Liso Ono, who has albums in French, Portugese, English, and Japanese. Boa, who can sing in both Japanese and Korean; Utada Hikaru (now retired) has albums in both English and Japanese; as well as a lot of American superstars who can both sing in English and Latin.

The Underground Lurker:
Hardcore is the way to go for this type. Anything that screams, and is insanely loud is his cup of tea.

The Lounge-Clubber:
Oh yeah, you know this type. A lot of us went through this phase and some who still are. Hed Kandi, World Music Room, as well as Buddha Bar, are some of the regulars in our music playlist.

Leave Me Alone:
Oh I am very familiar with this well loved personal category. This is anyone who wants to be left alone at times and loves to hangout with either his favorite pen and paper, camera, headphones, and a playlist full of tracks from Death Cab by Cutie, Radiohead, Skin, Skunk Anansie, Tori Amos, Fiona Apple, Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Secondhand Serenade, Dashboard Confessional, Sarah Mclachlan, James Blunt, Typecast and all the other makers of songs that will make you want to stay away from sharp objects and depressants, else you will be in a very messy and hurting situation afterwards.

How about you? If you can categorize some people's characters by their taste in music? What will the categories be?

Anyway, as for me; you will know in which category I will fall in, in my next blog entry.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My visit to The Mansion

It seems I was hovering towards a big garden with lush and trimmed greenery as I entered a big iron gate with thick rods and intricately designed arches. As I walk through the garden I was listening Michael Jackson's Earth song playing in loop.

The garden was full of exotic plants, some I have never seen before, I can definitely tell the owner of the mansion has a keen interest in gardening as well as exotic plants. I enter an old building, so big and creepy. However, it's warmth was very inviting amidst the cold and misty weather on the mountaintop.

I found myself in a mansion, isolated from all traces of civilization. Coming to this place means trekking or driving to a winding road. Anyone who is not careful enough not to drive or walk carefully will definitely find themselves falling on the cliffs above the thick white clouds, lost indefinitely.

The view in the mansion's garden is breathtaking, mountains across the thick and tall trees are everywhere, one can see either the sunrise or the sunset, that is how high the place was. The weather was chillingly cold. Inside the mansion, seems a rather unkept interior, but surely the owner of the place has a taste a fine luxury. Rooms at the first floor looks as if the occupants just suddenly left, leaving their things behind like slippers tucked between the door to keep it from entirely closing. I took a tour of the place and it was dark, lonely, and the invitingly warm atmosphere turned into a cold and lonely retreat. The kitchen was dark and empty, the living room was full of antiques and huge sofas, comfortable to lounge at, but cold to the touch. I went back to the room at the first floor in the middle of a dark, windowless hallway, a slipper was tucked beneath the corner of the door, perhaps the occupant or the owner of the room doesn't have the key and does not want to be locked out. I know it was bad to enter someone's room without permission, but my curiosity overwhelmed me. "It's a guy who lives in this room", I said to myself, his bed was in the middle of the room with wide windows above the side of his bed, the windows brought warm light across the room and rays of bright sun kept the marble floor warm to the bare feet. His ID lace with his ID card was still hanging on the left corner of his study chair in front of his desk with a huge mirror, his bed with nice blue linen sheets still seems that the owner just left. Clothes are everywhere, littered across the room. I decided to go out and look for the kitchen because I was getting hungry and the afternoon is nearly coming to a close. I found the kitchen, empty. I stayed there waiting for someone to come home, none, even after several hours has passed, I amused myself by playing with my cellphone that has no signal. Until this overwhelming feeling of loneliness burst in me. I went out to the garden...

The garden was in fact dead. As I walked a certain distance, the plants started to bloom and turn green, and as I slowly looked back, I saw with my two eyes how the plants quickly wither and die. I went out the mansion's iron gates, running, looking for anyone, any human being that knows where I am. I found 4 boys a after a couple of twists and turns along the black asphalt road.

I woke up hungry at 10:30 AM, so I grabbed a stick of reds and looked for a certain story I read when I was kid. I want to go back to that mansion and what is the mystery lurking in its cold and lonely rooms.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Paalam, Sugarfree at Bamboo

Oo, sa mga hindi pa nakakalam ng balitang ito, wala na pong Sugarfree at Bamboo. nakakalungkot, dahil simula pa ng nabuo ang Sugarfree at nilabas nila ang unang nilang album, eh naadik na ako sa kanila. Pero sa lahat ng labums na ginawa ng Sugarfree, yung unang album o yung mga kanta galing sa una nilang album talaga nila ang tumatak sa isip ng maraming Pilipino.

Maraming nakarelate sa music video nila ng Burnout, lalo na ang mga chatters (isa na ako dun). Usong uso pa noon ang MIRC, at ang chat noong panahong iyon, ay chat talaga. May mga naguusap at nagpapalitan ng opinion, may mga naguusap sa main room at hanggang sa lahat na yata ng nasa room eh iisa na lang ang pinaguusapan, magulong masaya sa MIRC noon, noon 'yun. Hindi tulad sa panahon ngayon, wala na yatang naguusap sa main room, kung hindi puro posts na lang, tawagin na lang nating classified ads na ang dalawa sa pinakamalaking pang bading na chatrooms sa MIRC.

Maraming madamdaming kanta ang Sugarfree, na panigurado ako, marami sa atin ang nakarelate at nakidamdam sa mga kanta nilang minsan ay tagos sa puso. Mga kantang tulad ng Burnout, Telepono, Mariposa, at Kuwarto. Sa mga kilala at gustio ang Sugarfree, panigurado ako, na kasama sa listahan ng mga pang-emote niyo ang ilan sa mga nabanggit kong kanta.

Mabuti na lang at napanood ko sila nung nakaraang taon sa anniversary ng Saguijo. Ehto ang isa sa mga paborito kong kanta at video nila... Burnout.

Bamboo, isa sa mga iilang banda na gumagawa ng mga kantang pulitikal at nagsasalamin sa masang Pilipino. Iilan lang sila sa mga bandang gumagawa ng mga kantang hindi lang pang pag-ibig, kung hindi naayon sa kinalalagyan ng bansa, at ng masang Pilipino. Lyrically, paborito ko ang Bamboo, dahil sa mga kadahilanang binanggit ko. Astig magsulat ng mga salita si Bamboo, at may tunog silang, alam mong sila talaga hindi pa man kumakanta ang bokalista.

Kaya, paalam Sugarfree at Bamboo. mamimiss namin ang pagkanta niyo ng live, pero habang buhay namin nanamnamin ang mga tugtog niyong naging parte ng makukulay namin buhay.

Bird House

Yan ang tawag ko sa room ng isang department sa 2nd floor ng building namin. Palibhasa halos puro lalake ang nagoopisina sa kuwartong iyon, hindi basta lalake, ang bansag nila sa sarili nila ay Alpha-Male, higit pa raw sila sa tunay na lalake, mga manyak pa! Kaya ayun, ang tawag ko sa kuwarto nila ay Bird House. Tambayan ko iyon tuwing pagkatapos ng shift ko o kaya kapag maglulunch ako, bukod kasi sa masasayang kasama at kausap ang mga tao dun eh mga katropa ko pa sila sa pagpipicture-picture (mga photographers kasi) at kasama ko rin sila sa mga pagtatambay sa mga gigs ng mga banda-banda at halos lahat sila ay may mga kanya-kanyang banda, minsan sila-sila rin ang nagbubuo ng banda.

Masaya silang kasama at ka-hangout, dahil sa bukod sa "out" ako sa kanila, eh hindi sila ilang sa pagkatao ko. Masasabi kong, masayang may mga kaibigan akong straight na tunay, kasabay kumain, kasabay umuwi, kasama sa tambayan, sa inuman, sa gigs, at pareho ang hilig namin sa potograpiya at musika. Maski na palagi nila akong inaasar, masaya pa din.

Kami ang mga tambay, tambay sa bird house.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I woke up at around 10 am and I can't go back to sleep. To help me sleep or while I wait to get back to sleep, I decided to go bloghopping and sports browsing. I stumbled upon a few sports that I really want to try but schedule and locations are not that convenient for me... I checked out Underwater Hockey which is hel in taguig, Water Polo in Manila, and Mountain Biking. I checked out a few bikes too, although I don't know how to ride a bike, yet. I really need a new sport that I will truly stick to and love. I have been contemplating on enrolling in a gym in Makati, but it will be expensive, I mean, P13,000/year is cheap, but working out in a gym is really not my cup of tea.

As I surf and browse several sites and blogs, I noticed a there are quite a handful of new blogs, some are new blogs by old bloggers and some are quite new indeed. There is one annoying thing about some blogs 'though... That some have music widgets on auto-play. I do appreciate that they share the music they listen to, but c'mon, some of us are already listening to some music while we go online or some just wants peace and quiet. I find it annoying because it disrupts the mood of people as they surf. You can share your music, we appreciate that, but please do not put it on auto-play.

I rest my case.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A journey through time and across the country, and back home

Just now (11:56 AM, Manila time), I closed the Google Earth and is excited to blog about my emotional journey throughout the country using the said application.

It has been a long time since I opened it, I think it has been around two years since I launched it. Suprsingly, I thought I deleted it, but when I checked Spotlight and typed Google, Google Earth was the top result, so I clicked and launched it.

There it goes, that neat application with the planet Earth and the view of the Philippines. I clicked and zoomed until Makati city's buildings are in view. I then decided to trace my route to my condo. I was not able to measure the distance between office and my place, I'll do that next time. Google Earth was so neat but busy since I last checked it. It has pictures of places uploaded by different people across the internet, that's the coolest! So many tags about places to go to! I was an excited kid as I click the photos along the way to my place as I travel along EDSA then to Commonwealth highway. Google Earth is also now updated, the picture of where my condo is now a picture of it when it was under construction, last time I checked it was a picture of an empty lot, by the way, this place is already finished and what's under construction is the Commonwealth highway extension in front of the condos. I surveyed or browsed the updated images surrounding my condo as well as the assorted uploaded pictures from different people, some are interesting enough, others well, not quite.

Out of nowhere, a song played. Hiling by Silent Sanctuary, suddenly I travelled to Manila, and zoomed in at the corner of Vito Cruz and Taft Avenue, too bad or fortunate for me, no picture of that particular condo building was uploaded. On the map, the condo building is behind two other condo buildings, so there was no way I can see that damn, fucking building! I said to myself "'buti na lang", then the song Hiling kept on playing in loops to my head, then as I stare at that spot along Vito Cruz and Taft avenue, emotions of deep sadness and unmistakable longing purged out from deep within the dark depths of the grave I dug so deep inside me back in 2008. I wanted to get of there! So I ran... I clicked the mouse, dragged and click, dragged and click until I got to my place of wandering refuge...

Cubao, I clicked no interesting pictures from the so many posted on the map, or perhaps I just clicked the wrong ones. I wanted to go home, to my sanctuary, so I scrolled up towards Novaliches. I am home. Then I suddenly miss my mom, I wondered if she could only know what issues his son is facing right now, how would she react? So clicked and dragged towards the East, Rizal.

My mom's place is far up in the mountains, I can just imagine the long hassle of the daily commute from her place to her work in the other end of Rizal. Point A to point B is such a struggle for me with just thinking about it. Then I checked the surrounding greenery of the tiny village where my mom lives. My landmark was a dirt road which is in clear view from the satellite image. So I checked out what lies beyond the concrete road and unto that winding dirt road. To my surprise, there are a lot of pictures uploaded by bikers, some photographs are actually nice, which made me assume that some of the bikers are also photographers or are hobbyists. I clicked and dragged more to the East, and I noticed that the farther I am from Manila, the better I felt. Still in Rizal but to a place where I can no longer zoom and it was all greens from the satellite image where uploaded pictures of small waterfalls and a river and small but clean bodies of water. I thought that I must have travelled so far from civilization. The only clue that there are people living in that area was... A hanging bridge, a small store that is almost like a tent pitched up in the middle of nowhere that I think only bikers and a few trucks go. I clicked a photo and it was a photo of a Rizalista flag, oh boy, I am indeed somewhere, and a photo of an old chapel or church on a hillside. A few more clicks and drags I found a lonely photo in the middle of dark green surroundings, and wow! The photo was of a dirt road over looking hills and mountains covered with clouds! I stared at that photo for more than a minute appreciating the view and wondering where is that? It says... "Tanay... Silang road" or something like that. So it is a road linking Rizal to Quezon province. Then I thought it could be the C5 road unpaved which indeed links Rizal to Quezon through the mountains of Sierra Madre.

I found myself in Silang, Quezon. A quiet far away place, I then found out that it is a fishing town, of course, obviously because it is near the sea. I headed back to Rizal with just a few click of Google Earth's zoom. I was back to civilization. I then browsed the rest of Rizal, going South to where my mom works. Damn, it is so far, I said to myself. Then I travelled down to Tanay, then Binangonan then Jala-jala and I found myself in Laguna. I then excitingly clicked and checked the National Highway, or so I thought that was the National Highway going to Bicol, my birthplace. I got lost becuase there were so many roads and the clouds were blocking the view and I could not zoom anymore. Good thing the uploaded pictures helped me find my way to Sta. Elena, Camarines Norte... I was at my birthplace. Then I thought to go to the place where I grew up, so I zoomed out and travelled way down south.

Cebu, the place where I grew up. I quickly zoomed in to find my Grandma's house. Hoping that the images are not updated enough to show the house still standing. Using bits of memories from my childhood I quickly found and used Fuente Osmena as my landmark, then I looked for University of San Carlos. I got lost for a few minutes and I got frustrated! "Where is that school!" I shouted at myself. I was so frustrated I zoomed out the map. All of a sudden my mouse hovered a photo... It was a photo of University of San Carlos, so I immediately double clicked. There I was, looking at the school compound, "my Grandma's place is just near here" I said. I then remembered the first time my daddylolo send me out to buy pan(pan de sal in tagalog) at the nearby bakery on my first week in the city! I was forced to learn Cebuano real fast. When I clicked on the surrounding photos near University of San Carlos, gooosebumps crept out all over me. I then saw the roof of the building where I bought pan, nearby is a store where they sell school and office supplies, the corner with a stoplight and a small one way street where multicabs (there were not much jeepneys during those days in Cebu) pass by going downtown. Then I clicked and dragged to Don Pedro Cui street. The roof of my mommylola's house was still there. The big garden of the house where flowering trees (yes trees, not plants) with such beautiful smell grow. Then I saw where my tita Lorna and tita Paz lives. I imagined myself when I was there the last time, when daddylolo died. I traced back my route from tita Lorna's house to the street where I hailed a multicab going to the funeral place.

I then tried to remember my most beautiful childhood memory of a place, Danao. Still in Cebu, I travelled north. The images showed buildings and much progress has been made in Danao, which is now a city. I tried to look for a hill somewhere at the western side from the beach. I wasn't able to find it. It was where my mom and I lived when we left my grandparent's house in the city. We lived in a small hut or bahay kubo, with barely but small cardboard boxes with us where we store our clothes and some clay and metal pots for cooking. What we had for stove was a local clay version of a stove in which chopped woods are used to fire it up, it was simply called kalan. We cannot afford to buy kerosene to light up the wood, so instead we buy wood shavings during that time. The hill where the hut was had an overlooking view of the town and the sea. In some sunny and beautiful afternoons I can see big passenger ships sailing to the south carrying people from Manila to Cebu. I can tell those ships were from manila because of their size, ships bound to Cebu from Manila were usually the largest at that time, air travel were for the rich back in those days. I then clicked and dragged more, looking for the church as a landmark. I then saw that there is now a mall in Danao, and a sports complex and buildings. I was not able to find the Elementary school where I wanted to study at. So that I wanted to study there I stare at the gate whenever I pass that place by during my daily rounds of peddling puto. Along the strip of beach that I saw and with the help of the few pictures I clicked on Google Earth, I then realized the places where my mom and I used to swim, it was near the fish port now. I said to myself, "Wow, we were that poor". I finally saw the image of the church and saw a picture or two of it, it was the church! I can remember that one afternoon, when the sun was just about halfway setting down the sea, the sky will turn dark blue and the sky to a deep orange rust and the bright yellow streetlights just turn on and the waves at sea was gently pushing on the sand and back to the sea again, their sounds as they hit the beach were like whispers on my ear, beautiful whispers from the sea.... Then I walk home with my day's earnings.

I also travelled to Talisay, which is South of Cebu city. We lived there for sometime where there, I peddled not just puto, but also dried fish. It was during my tweens and when the famous pepsi contest happened (that eventually became a scandal), we were living at that place. We lived onthe second floor of a very small house, no running water, but I can't remember if we had a bathroom. What I remember was that my mom had to go to the river to do the laundry and me to fetch water from the only source of water in that entire community, poso as we call it. I was circumcised when we lived there and my mom bought me to the beach, that was my first and only experience of bathing in nude at sea. I remembered I punched an older kid on his face which made him lose his two front teeth, that because he accused me of not falling in line properly, that was where people fall in line to get water from the poso. I zoomed out Google Earth.

I felt so much better after that long trip down memory lane with the big help of Google Earth. I am still safe at home, relaxed, but that trip was exhausting, yet was very exciting, emotionally that is.

The Transformers; reminiscing the 80s and the much awaited part 3

Most people have been awed and hooked to the series of robot movies director Micheal Bay have made , The Transformers. Most kids these days do not know that those famous robots were once a weekly staple of us (who are in their late 20s and early 30s) back when we were kids. I remember when I often wondered how could Megatron transform and shrink into a pistol that's held by Starscream, and how can Soundwave shrink into small boombox. Well, these days I realized that those cartoons back in the 80s are not really correct in proportioning sizes, its a cartoon, anything can happen.

I don't know if most of you guys know that there is actually already a Transformers movie that was made back in the 80s. Below is the clip.

...and here is the upcoming Transformers 3 trailer.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Lahat na andito sa music video na ito... Kilig, patweetums, iyak, away, drama, lungkot, galit, hinagpis, kawalan, pag-iisa, pagkikita, at pagwawakas. Sana'y magustuhan niyo ito, Hiling ng Silent Sanctuary

Gusto ko lang ishare, paborito ko ito kasi. Kung gusto niyong manood ng telenovelang maiksi lang, panoorin niyo ito, mahigit anim na minuto lang, maraming emosyon ka nang mapapanood o mararamdaman.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Encounters with a Yeti

I often blog about my favorite bands. This time I am going to blog about one of the few local bands that always give me goosebumps whenever I watch them play live. They don't have vocals and they creatively use some sort of visual distraction to their audience... Sort of a visual element to their musical poetry.

I first watched Encounters with a Yeti in Saguijo one night, during one of my episode induced streetcapades with the Goth Chick. At first, I was kind of weary listening to them and waiting for vocals to start, a few minutes later and no vocals still, I was caught standing in the middle of Saguijo's tightly packed little room, slowly swaying my head backward and forward and my body from side to side. Everyone's quietly swaying, and after the first song that the band played, everyone clapped as loud as they can, cheering. Never have I experienced such voiceless musical ecstasy until I listened to this great indie band. It was like literally drowning in music and your mind playing images of sorts as one grasps and divulges the produced sounds from these artists.

When I discovered their myspace account and learned that they are streaming their music for free, I quickly bookmarked it. Their music is best listened to when one is tired from a long day and just sipping a cold beer or a glass of fine wine in a cool weather. Their music is one of the few that I listen to when I want my mind to unwind and stop thinking for a while.

Below is their myspace URL. My favorite tracks are:

Alloys bring the future closer
I too am a vineyard
Feathers of knives
All your children want for dinner is you

Friday, January 7, 2011

Shooting Star

by Teeth

Are you happy you're a shooting star?
Able to absorb so many wishes that we made

Are you happy you're a shooting star?
Able to give wonder to a galaxy of eternal mystery

Inside my mind
I'm waiting for you
Inside my mind
I'm searching and waiting
for you

And maybe I'm lucky to have seen you tonight
Cos I needed something I have always dreamed about
It doesn't matter if I can't go through
I just want my eye inside this tunnel to heaven

And I wish...

Inside my mind
I'm waiting for you
Inside my mind
I'm searching and waiting
for you

Are you happy you're a shooting star?

High and low
Find some snow
I need to know from you

Lyin' low
I have to grow
I need to know from you

Shooting star...

Are you happy?
Shooting star

Are you happy?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Gigabytes from Drummer Boy!

before the year closes last year, this was around the last few weeks of December, my friend the Drummer Boy gave me 2 DVDRs containing huge amounts of the music he listens to. He gave it to as a surprise for the holidays, because he knows I have been wanting to explore more of the different genres of music. because he knows that he can influence me so much on the music he listens to, he gave me 8 gigabytes worth of music that he has, and he says until I buy an external hard drive for my mac, he will not burn me more. @GBs of music is a whole lot! When I got home that day, I was very excited to scan and play the files Drummer Boy gave me. As expected, they were really good. I think half of the 8 GBs of files he gave me are artists that I already know, but songs and albums I did not have, yet... There were new music that are fresh to my ears and band names so new to my music vocabulary.

My favorites were...

Armor for Sleep, kinda punkish in a rockish kind of way, but generally alternative. My kind of music.

The Black Keys, I did not know that the band only composed of two members until I googled 'em. They sound old school like the 70s, and their music sounds like it was recorded using 70s style and 70s era recording equipment. They sound a bit rough, but that's the great appeal about them. They're literally a garage band, sounds like a garage band and they look like unclean geeks that decides to play the guitar and drums. Lyrics are nice, sound is great, a refreshing addition to my musical vocabulary.

Sinosikat?, I have heard about this band for a very long time, but I never had the time or did not pay attention in giving their music a listen, until that day. Jazzy and "loungy" beats with a hint of pop and alternative.

Maxwell, I love Maxwell's music, but Drummer Boy gave a copy of all of his albums, except the latest one. Maxwell is the only singer that can pull off excellent vocal calisthenics from super high to ultra low notes in a very smooth and sexy transition.

Tori Amos, I got all of her albums now!

There are still a lot of music to explore in those two DVDRs. I don;t have enough space in my Mac to transfer all the file 'though, sad. That's why I really need to buy an external hard drive as soon as possible.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Diet failed

Day one of the fruit diet failed tremendously. When I woke up yesterday afternoon, I ate a bunch of watermelons. When I got to work I ate a lot of bananas, 6 pieces to be exact plus I have several oranges with me. Whenever I get hungry, I eat, I drink water. But come around 2 AM, my heads is already spinning and aching so bad I feel like I am going to faint. I was not able to stand it so I stood up and hurried myself to the pantry at the ground floor. My floor is just at the 4th so I used the staircase with my hurried steps towards the pantry. I spotted chicken, white meat. So I ordered it plus one rice. There were still pieces of meat waiting to be eaten after I finished my meal. I ate them all, but I did not order a second serving of rice. That's enough.

I am not sure what happened, but perhaps my mind and my body was not able to handle the stress at work plus the added stress of hunger because it is not getting the usual foods it is given. This afternoon I am going to try it again, but I am going to start my day with a whole lot of oatmeal. Then will buy some apples and bananas for work, and I'm going to start walking, no elevators for me.

It's time for me to lose weight and act now. This is just a matter of discipline and the mind must focus itself. Of course, everything being done must not compromise my already weak immune system.

This is it, let's go!

5 new books

This past holiday season, all I wanted in my "kris-kringle" wishlist are books. So I got all the books I wanted after a few kris-kringle thingies at work.

Here are the 5 new books I have right now, others still sealed in plastic.

1.) Buddha - Deepak Chopra
2.) The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
3.) Veronika Decides to Die - Paolo Coelho
4.) The Five People You Meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom
5.) Basic Japanese

We'll blog about the books once I finish each one!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Of plans and goals, cycle 2011

Ah... 7:30 Am on a Tuesday morning, I woke up earlier because of hunger, first thing I saw on my table was a piece of pear so I grabbed and munched on it. This is day one of my fruit diet. Yeah, nothing but fruits to eat, of course acidic fruits are not allowed, as well as dairy... For three days.

It is now 8:39 AM. After drinking my protein shake and after being distracted by Facebook and reading some new online photography gear sellers, I am back to my blog. Back to the diet plan. According to my online research, the Fruit Cleansing diet is recommended for 3 days, but it can be up to 30 days. In my case, since I already had undergone a liquid diet back in 2009 (which I lost 30lbs in 1 month), this will not be that difficult at all. Besides, everything is just in the mind anyway. I am prepping myself for a 10 day fruit diet plan and then slowly progress to vegetarianism. Once there, meats of any kind for me will be treated as luxury. I will still eat meat, but only in certain occasions, special occasions that is. So to lessen temptations, less eating out.

Last year, I had plans, I had goals; none were met. This year, it's another cycle, of plans, goals, and turning them into reality. I looked back and assessed, what hindered me into reaching my goals? I dare say not, not now anyway. So here I am again, blogging about my goals... This year it is less but the less goals I have, the more I can focus into each one of them. Actually I only have one major goal for this year, that is to save money. It has been 5 years that I have been working, and no significant savings yet, It's about time I have.

1.) Have significant Savings
2.) Complete my photography gear (lenses).
a.) Canon 28mm F2.8 lens
b.) Tokina 11-16mm F2.8 lens
3.) Buy and learn to play a guitar
4.) Have a passport
5.) Lose weight and maintain 125lbs of lean muscle (that is the lightest and thinnest I will ever be), I am only 5'3".

For months now I have not had any inspirations to shoot, I just don't. So Xian has been sleeping quietly in his drybox for the longest time, ever.

9:14 AM, after eating a bittersweet grapefruit I am again back to my typing. I just love my new keyboard so much it induces me to just type even if I don't have any thoughts to type about. My old keyboard died on me in the middle of December. I so I have to replace it with a new one. I looked so hard for any third party keyboard can be compatible to my old Mac, but I ended buying the original Apple keyboard. It is quite expensive, but it is just so beautifully thin, and light on the fingers, and very quiet. The keyboard itself is heavier than most keyboards and but it so thin... I think this is just 1/8th of an inch thick.

So there, those are my thoughts so far and my plans for this brand new year. This time I will practice what I should have done long before, and which I lacked everytime I have plans... FAD (Focus, Ambition, Discipline). Oh yeah, I have ambition, but I lack the F and the D. This time, there will be the three.