Saturday, July 31, 2010

First day of school

Because of the new set of Japanese drama series I have. I have had so many thoughts and memories running in my head lately. Like my first day of school. There was this episode (1 Liter of tears... Yes I know... I mentioned in my previous post... A Liter of Tears... Well it's almost the same) in A Liter of Tears, where Aya (the main character) is getting ready for her first day of junior high, they had a family picture taken on their first day of school. I remembered my very first day of school.

I wonder how many out there can still remember their first day in school? I can still remember, I woke up at 5:00 AM, with my uniform of black pants, sando, black socks, shiny black shoes, and a crisp white polo are already prepared in a corner of our rented flat in the isolated municipality of San Mateo, Rizal. My mom was already up and was energetically preparing my breakfast of scrambled eggs and hotdog as well as my lunch for school. I took a bath and hastily got dressed for school.

It was 6:00 AM, me in my uniform and with me are a load of school stuff that I looked like I was going to war! I had my backpack with me, full of books, notebooks, a big pencil case with built-in sharpener and compartments of different sizes, I had a Casio magic diary, that I eventually brag about all the time to my classmates. I had a clear folder full of notepads from 1 whole to 1/4 sheet sizes, I had a calculator, a mechanical pencil, Stabilo markers of green, yellow, blue, and purple, and 3 ballpens. I was in full gear for school! My mom happily took a picture of me before I headed out the front door on my first day of school. I was a freshman in highschool.

Luckily, my dad agreed and can afford to send me to a private school. That was after 8 years of being hidden from him. I went to what was the school to be in our municipality. I looked for my classroom and looked up my name in the list. "Oh so this is my section1" I thought as I saw my name in the section of I-A*%##e. It was my very first time to enter an actual clasroom, it was my very first time to actually sit in a classroom and on a classroom chair, it was my very first time to be with real students and classmates. I was awestruck!

Some embarrassing first day moments were... I did know the paper sizes, although I have a 1 whole sheet of paper ready, 1/2 crosswise, 1/2 lengthwise, and a 1/4 pad... I really did not know what were those. Specially when our teacher asked for us to prepare a 1/8 sheet of paper to write our names on. I asked my seatmate on the right what the teacher was asking for, and he thought I was joking, he shouted "Ma'am! Hindi po niya alam kung anu ang 1/8 sheet of paper!". Everyone laughed, I smiled and said "hindi ko po talaga alam". Everyone became quiet. The teacher asked, "Saan ka ba nanggaling iho? Saan ka galing school at hindi mo alam 'yan?"... I frown in embarrassment and said "first time ko po kasi sa school, sa bahay lang ako nag-aral". My seatmate handed me a 1/8 sheet of paper and I wrote my name on it, everyone was still quiet. When that subject was over, everyone gathered around me and started asking questions like, why was it my first time in school? Why didn't I attended gradeschool? That I will not be allowed to do other Catholic stuff because I never had my first communion. Who taught me at home?

I was like a circus attraction, and I was ready for such attention. Where have you heard a 13 year old kid in highschool who skipped kinder and gradeschool? I just happened to pass grades 1 to 6 and up to 2nd year high of the DECS PEPT exam; that's why I went straight to secondary school. The principal and my mom both agreed that I start at the freshman level so I will not have a hard time adjusting to formal schooling. I'm not proud of it, and I am not ashamed of it either. It's just a fact of my life.

Well, that was my first day of school.

Friday, July 30, 2010

First day of school

I wonder how many out there still vividly remembers their first day of school?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Liter of Tears

A close friend at work gave me a DVD copy of this Japanese TV series. He said I will be able to relate to this drama. After watching episode 1, I was able to greatly relate to main character. I think that a lot of "us" will be able to relate and like this series. I will blog more about this TV series soon. This is all for now, I have to catch some sleep 'coz I'll accompany my P to his job interview later. By the way, I can't stop but to watch episode two right away. I'm officially hooked!

NOTE: I cried within the very first few minutes of the first episode.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Charity Sunday

After 9 hours of working alone, because my teammate was on leave last Saturday shift. I headed straight to my friend's (Gel) place, who lives in Pasay. Gel offered to use their family pick-up truck to transport my new sofa. I logged out at 7:10 AM, went to the front of the building and bought myself a cup of taho. As I finish that cup of warm and sweet soya product, I chit chat with my the agents who littered the sidewalk as they burn their lungs out. After a while, I finally went to the bus stop and then to the MRT-Ayala station. On a Sunday, I was surprised that the MRT going to Taft was full.

I arrived at Gel's place at around past 8 AM, I was tired and sleepy. While we were waiting for the sofa to arrive, Gel opened some of the balikbayan boxes that littered his room. There were a lot in every corner and at the middle, some boxes from his trips abroad for the past several months have barely been opened. Anyway, he let me try on some shirts that he haven't worn yet. "Nice" I said to myself, free designer clothes! Gel's a tall guy, stands around 5'8" or 5'9" while I', only 5'3". It's nice that his clothes fit me well because I have grown bigger... in fat! He gave me several long sleeves from Calvin Klein! To add, he also gave me two ceiling lamps from Ikea that he never used. Wow, how generous. The trip to Gel's place was like a charity ukay-ukay heaven!

After an hour two, our friend Tess arrived. So we were headed to our boss's place. After picking of our boss who lives in Makati, we then head to our boss's boss place which is in Mandaluyong to get the much awaited sofa. We waited at the basement. Our big boss finally went out of the elevator with her two maids and with them is a mustard yellow two seater sofa, the upholstery is weaved with patterns of little maple leaves, the feet are of dark wood and the fabric looks still quite new. My eyes popped, 'coz I did not expect that the sofa that's going to be given to me will be that nice! Oh, it has two throw pillows that came with it too! We then loaded the sofa unto the back of Gel's pick-up truck. AS we loaded and tied the sofa, the two gay men suddenly became butch!

We then travelled to Cubao to pick up our friend John. John has been a close friend of mine for a decade. Stands 5'8", ultra fair skin, hairy, chinito, with an evil smile. He was one of the first one who knew about me having HIV. We arrived at his place and we was still sleeping so I went up to his bedroom and hurriedly woke him up. He greeted me in a dozy way saying he'll be ready in a bit. After a few minutes of waiting I got a text message from our boss's boss that it's already raining in Mandaluyong. The moment that I was reading the text, I suddenly felt little drops of rain. Gel started running to me saying we have to wrap-up the sofa in trash bags. He did not bring the cover for the pick-up's loading bay because he thought it can't be use with the sofa anyway. I ran to the nearest 711 and bought the largest sized trash bags I could find. It took us 30 minutes to entirely cover the sofa with trash bags and tape. Rain started to pour when we were done. It was an ultimate downpour.

The five us, me, John, my boss, at the back passenger seat, Gel and Tess at the front. Cozy inside the pick-up truck as we bravely drive in the already flooded streets of Cubao. I was terribly worried that the sofa will get drenched despite of trash bag coverings we made. We drove into the horrendously hard downpour. Gel was so careful because it was getting more and more difficult to drive with the lowered visibility caused by the rain, not to mention to flooded streets we have to drive by through.

We had fun by looking at the half naked men bathing in the rain along the streets. 3 gay guys and two single ladies packed in one truck in the middle of a downpour are such a crowd. I was the navigator as we headed North of Quezon city to my place. We have a long drive ahead of us and more half naked men to watch.

We drove along Maginhawa street in Sikatuna Village and then to Teacher's Village. Ironically, the drive was not maginhawa at all because of the river like flood that Gek and the pick-up truck had to endure. Because of the passing tricycles that keeps on passing by, our hopes of making it up north were brightened. After a few minutes of braving Maginhawa street, we finally got out to Commonwealth highway. I called my boyfriend P, who was at that time cooking lunch for us; I told that I was not able to buy rice because of the rain, he then said he's going to cook rice instead of us buying some.

After an hour of driving, we finally arrived at our building. I was a bit sad that the sofa got wet., although not entirely drenched. I had the maintenance crew come over to unload the sofa to the building cluster's foyer... there I saw the sides and back of it drenched and had watermarks. THe happy mustard sofa was then gloomy and wet... so emo, I thought. We headed to my unit.

P, was already preparing the Japanese table. He cooked pork sinigang and chicken adobo for lunch. As we eat, we nervously waited for my friends' feedback of his cooking. They all said in a happy voice, "ang sarap"! I can see P's little smile brighten his face wit the utter of those words.

My friends spent an hour or two eating on the Japanese table while sitting on the floor as we watched ASAP and watching Party Pilipinas. P surprised them with ice cream that they gladly consumed like little children. All of us were tired after a few hours. Good thing I bought disposable plates, utensils and cups to save us from the torment of washing the dishes.

My friends went home in the early afternoon and we escorted them to the pick-up truck. We bid them goodbye and saying thank you for visiting us in the almost provincial far north. Me and P then walked back to our building and looked at the wet mustard sofa resting in the foyer. He said it's going to be alright and we will just wait for the sun to come out, perhaps tomorrow. P and I went back to our flat.

I'm very happy things turned out great in spite of the rain and of the sofa getting wet. It will still be used and it will be alright. I am thankful for my friends for giving me the stuff I needed as well as some clothes, most of all, I thank them for the friendship.

I am very thankful for P. I am thankful that he's my man and for him being a gentleman. Cooking is never easy and coping with my mood swings, I know it's sometimes annoying. Thank you P for everything, not only that you are a good cook, but you are a good boyfriend as well. The final furniture piece has been given to me and I have a great partner.

My home is now complete.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The second chance

It was a wet morning when I arrived at my flat. My boyfriend laying in bed, I walked near the work desk and I took my clothes off. The flat was dark, as I wanted it to be, I walked naked to my lover in bed. I kissed his cheeks softly... He suddenly woke up and gave me a smile. He then reached for my cellphone that was in my right hand and started to check the messages and calls. That is one thing that really annoyed me.

It has been a while since me and P are together. It was fast, very fast, and there has been nasty things that I don't like about him. Let's just say he became so possessive and I feel like I was under surveillance at all times. I was not comfortable and why such a need to inspect all the messages in my cellphone and question all conversations that happened? He check my e-mails and my Facebook stuff. It was not nice.

We had an argument, because all that I could say was "enough". The inspections are enough, the questions are enough, I had enough of all the mistrust, questions and all the drama here and there. I cannot take it anymore. I want my privacy back, I don't want anyone meddling with my conversations with my friends or my email correspondents. The big deal here is, my privacy. It doesn't mean that when we are in a relationship, we or them has all the right to just inspect all of the stuff in our conversations. We still need to value individual privacy even if we are in a relationship.

I felt I lost my identity, I needed myself back. I almost broke up with him. But I saw the saddest brown eyes... I held back my words. I just told him he needed to go home, we went to sleep.

P, already stopped dreaming, all he wanted was to have a stable relationship and wait for the day he dies. That's all. It's not that I want him to be like me. But I want someone who has the same level of passion in life that I have. I am a sun and he is just a mere breath of light, I would have swallowed him into nothingness with my emanating heat. He is already close to lifeless, he needed someone to be with just for him to be alive. I wanted him to be alive on his own. So the moment we woke up in the afternoon, I told that he needed to go home. It is better for us to be apart, for him to have his own life and for mine to come back. We have to live apart with our own lives. Again, those brown, sad, little eyes started to weep tears of sadness.

It was very difficult for me to send him home. He just have to, we just have to... Part ways. He as all I ever wanted, he accepted me as me and whatever I have. I can be who I truly am, bare naked in front of his eyes. He makes me laugh at times, but he just needed to have a life of his own. He packed his things and he walked towards the door with me.

We were in the cab, quietly sitting. I was on my way to work as he is headed back to his family's home. He tightly held my hand as he whispered "I love you", I looked away to the window. I can't dare to say those words. I wanted everything to end. A few minutes passed, I got off at the corner of EDSA and Quezon avenue. I walked to the train station not looking at the sad face behind me, inside the cab.

A day passed by and he never fails to text reminders of what to do, that I must eat this and that, etc. I barely responded to any of his messages. Two days went by, I saw him in front of our office building, waiting for me. He said he misses me and he has realized some things. He said he started to dream, of me, of us, and of the future. I smiled, and I thought it's a good start for him to be dreaming again. He also said that he learned his lessons and will not be nosy anymore. I don't hide things from him, I just don't want to daily submit reports of my daily conversations of me and the rest of the world. He said he will value privacy now and will start dreaming and stat to have a new life... with me.

I smiled and welcomed him back with open arms. Up to this day he has not meddled with my emails, Facebook and cellphones yet, not that I know of. Anyway, he did start to dream. He is now making efforts and searching to what can be a road to what can make his dreams come true. He may not dream of his own happiness, but he is dreaming and I am here to help him make those dreams a reality.

At least now he is starting to look at the same direction as I am. I am holding on and I am happier.

Saturday, July 17, 2010


Movie review: CASSHERN


Casshern, a Japanese movie released way back in 2004. I discovered this movie when I was searching for the translated lyrics of Dareka No Negai Ga Kanau Koro (when someone's wish comes true) sung my Utada Hikaru (whom I am still addicted to until today) . I found out that it was a theme song for a Japanese movie, Casshern. So I became curious on what wass the movie all about. I searched for photos, I was hooked. The wallpapers are awesome! Not to mention the lead actor is handsome. I found the trailer in an Apple-Japan website, I was amazed by the visuals. I said to myself "wow an action movie! the visuals are stunning and the fight scenes seem so smooth and just like from an anime!". I searched for DVD's, of course, no originals, so I opted to buy from pirates... You already know what I mean. I found and bought a DVD copy. It wasn't an action movie at all!

Originally, Casshern is a 1970's anime, you will see the original white helmet with a hornlike structure in one of the earlier scenes in the movie. The anime's protagonist was originally a kid, in this movie version, it's a very handsomely hot Japanese guy.

The visuals as I said are stunningly beautiful. It's like every scene is a well composed photograph, the angles, the colors, the contrasts, the techniques used are so stunning it made me stuck to the movie... Those alone are satisfying enough. The story revolves on war and what it can do to people, how war can change an individual's perspective on life, and how it can change lives, how it assimilates anger and revenge. The fight scenes, the costumes, and all other subtopics as well as the (again...) spectacular cinematography... Are just to make the viewers get stuck to the movie, for them to be able to absorb the main message of the it.

The movie was long, but it was worth every minute to watch. The movie strongly gave out a strong message... What is the real meaning of happiness and why are we here in this world? What is our purpose? Why do we have to be vengeful if someone did something wrong to us? Why do we have to fight eachother? Why do we need to go into war?

The song that was played at the credits is just so beautiful, titled Dareka no negai ga kanau koro. I just love this movie, watching it has always been a visually orgasmic, thought provoking, and a mind opening experience. I highly recommend this movie. This is a classic for me.


"Kazamidori (Weathervane)"

*Translated lyrics


I wonder if it’s because I was born in the spring
When seeds appear to be flying, soon I’ll want to go far away
To a place I haven’t seen yet

A weathervane left up to fate by the wind
A compass that keeps pointing out a destination
I can take whatever I want, I can leave whatever I want
The morning of a new journey

While I’m afraid of change, I also don’t want to stay here
A quiet awakening that looks the same as always

You who said goodbye and I squeezed your back
I who couldn’t say we’d see each other again
Overlapping roads will again be split into two
The morning of a beginning

Though I don’t want to be all alone, that doesn’t mean I must go alone
Even with loneliness stopping my feet, I can’t go home yet
Crossing the ocean together with the wind, I’ll walk on guided by the sunrise
Because what’s waiting for me is definitely there,
after so many meetings and partings,
I have to go keep the promise I made myself when I was born

Until I can touch with these hands, with these eyes that don’t understand even if I listen to someone,
the treasures encased throughout the world,
taking a breath as deep as a forest, I’ll go to sleep listening to the sounds of the stars
To someday set down roots that alight upon the ground
That is the place I’m going home to

"With or Without you"

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams"


Monday, July 12, 2010

Batang BJ

Isang araw, sa tanghaling hindi masyadong kainitan, noong kalagitnaan ng Mayo. Ako ay nag-aabang ng bus sa ilalim ng malalaking punong acacia sa kanto malapit sa amin. Suot ko ang aking t-shirt na kulay pula at maong shorts at rubber shoes, ako ay papunta sa San Lazaro noong araw na iyon. Damamg dama ko ang bawat ihip ng masarap na hangin habang pinagmamasdan ko ang pagdaan ng mga lumilikong sasakyan. Sa layo ng tintirhan ko, ang hangin sa amin ay mas malinis na kung ikukumpara sa ibang ciudad sa Metro Manila. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam, habang ang init ng araw ay hindi ko gaanong ramdam sapagkat ang mga dahon ng punong acacia ay siyang nagsilbing payong upang ang init nito ay hindi dumaplis sa tila moreno kong balat.

Ako ay namangha sa ganda ng sinag ng araw na lumulusot sa gitna ng mga sanga't dahon patungo sa mainit na concreto sa tanghaling tapat. Ang hangin naman ay siyang imiihip sa mga nalalaglag na dahon at mga dilaw na bulaklak na tila niyebeng bumabagsak galing sa langit.

Napadpad ang aking paningin sa batang nagtitinda ng buko juice sa gilid ng Commonwealth highway. Wari ko'y nasa siyete o otso pa lang ang kanyang edad. Napansin ko ang dalawang magagarang kotseng nakapark at nakapila sa puwesto ng maliit na bata. Tuwang-tuwa na tila natataranta ang batang paslit sa dami ng binibiling buko juice nung nasa itim na kotse. Habang ang kotseng pula nasa likod ng kotseng itim ay mainip na naghihintay na pagbentahan ng bata.

Naiintriga ako at naaliw sa aking nakita. Kaya ako ay tumayo pa at pinagmasdan ko ang bata habang siya ay nagbebenta ng buko juice. Masarap ngang uminom ng buko juice sa magandang tanghaling iyon. Ngunit ako ay hindi umalis o kumibo man lang sa aking kinatatayuan. Napagandang tingnan ang natatanaw kong iyon. Isang maliit na batang nagbebenta ng buko juice sa gilid ng daan na may dalawang kotseng nakapila at naghihintay na pagbentahan. Habang ang mga dahon at bulaklak ng malalaking puno ng acacia ay siya namang naging payong mula sa sinag ng tanghaling araw. Umiihip ang malinis at masarap na hangin.

Biglang nag flashback ang aking nakaraan. Dahil nung ako ay bata pa, ay hindi nalalayo ang sitwasyon ko sa kanya. Naranasan ko ring magtinda, hindi lang sa gilid ng daan, kung hindi sa iba't-ibang barangay sa ciudad ng Cebu. Mabuti pa nga siya at may puwestong pwedeng pagpahingaan habang naghihintay ng bibili. Samantalang ako ay naglalako at naglalakad ng malayo... Kaya nga ang lalaki ng mga hita at binti ko ngayon. Alam ko ang hirap ng maglako ng pandinda, at alam ko ang frustration kapag hindi naubos ang benta o kapag minsan, wala pang benta. Nakakaiyak, kasi kapag walang benta, wala na naman kaming uulamin sa gabi at sa darating na bukas. Dalawang klase ang pandinda ko noon. Naglalako ako ng puto sa umaga, at sari-saring daing at mga tuyong isda naman sa hapon. Ang mga puto, kapag may natira, kinakain namin, kaysa naman sa masira. Ang mga daing at tuyong isda, pwede pang ibenta kinabukasan. Mahirap maglako, mahirap maglakad, mahirap maging batang mahirap, lalo na't hindi mo alam kung anu nga ba ang bukas na naghihintay sa iyo, lalo na't hindi pa ako nag-aaral nung mga panahong iyon. Ganun kami kahirap, kahit sa pampublikong paaralan ay hindi ako nakapag-aral dahil imbis na mag-aral, ay magtitinda na lang ako para hindi kami mag-ulam ng asukal.

Nagbalik ang aking wisyo nung narinig ko ang busina ng isang paparating na bus. Pangit yung bus, kaya hindi ako sumakay. Pinagdasal ko ang batang iyon na sana balang araw, ay makamit niya ang mga pangarap niya, sana ay huwag siyang makuntento sa ganung buhay, at sana ay mangarap pa siya at mag-ambisyon. Balang araw, kapag nagsumikap lang siya kasama ang pananalig sa Diyos, makaka-ahon din siya sa hirap at hinding hindi na siya magmumukhang kawawang tindero ng buko juice.

Ako ay minsan naging katulad ng batang buko juice. Mahirap, gutom, nagtitinda, at tila walang katiyakan ang kinabukasan. Nangarap ako, nag-ambisyon, nagdasal, at nangako sa sarili na hinding-hindi na ako magugutom. Ngayon, nakamit ko na ang aking mga pangarap, hindi na ako natutulog ng gutom, at nakakain ng mga pagkaing minsan ay pinaglalawayan ko lang at pinapangarap lamang. Nakatira na ako ngayon sa isang condominyum na nabili ko para sa aking sarili na minsan ay pangarap lamang. Nakakabili na ako ngayon ng ilang mga damit at gamit na hindi na kailangan pang pag-ipunan ng matagal na panahon. Mabait ang Diyos, sabay ng ating pagsusumikap at paniniwala, kaya nating umahon sa anumang hirap na ating pinagdadaanan o pagdadaanan.

Marami pang tulad ng batang buko juice. Sa mga makakabasa nito, sana ay huwag niyong husgahan o laitin ang mga batang tulad niya, biktima lamang sila ng kahirapan, at huwag din sana nating isipin na masasma ang kanilang mga magulang, dahil minsan, wala rin naman silang magagawa pa sa sitwasyon nila kung hindi ang magtrabaho sa murang edad, tulad ng ginawa ko noong bata pa ako. Kung hindi sila magtatrabaho, wala silang kakainin. Ipagdasal natin ang mga batang tindero, ipagdasal natin ang kanilang kinabukasan at ang kanilang mga pangarap. Huwag natin silang kaawaan, bagkus tulungan natin silang mangarap at magkaroon ng pag-asa sa buhay.

Yun lang po.

Batang buko

Isang araw, tanghaling tapat na hindi gaanong kainitan noong kalagitnaan ng buwan ng Mayo. Ako ay nag-aabang ng bus sa kanto malapit sa tinitirhan kong condominyum. Sa ilalim ng punong acacia, ako ay tumayo, at habang pinagmamasdan ang mga dumaraang mga sasakyan

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Of ballooning weight and getting back into shape

Since I got diagnosed, I changed my lifestyle a lot. I mean a lot... I cut down enormously on smoking and together with my new perspectives in life are my eating habits. I am now very careful with what I eat, but also, I also got carried away with this I-need-to-be-healthy regimen of mine. I lost control of my appetite.

I have been having issues with my weight since I started working, which was 5 years ago. I used to weight 128 lbs, that was back in highschool, gained some lean muscles in college and I weight 130. I was lean, I got 6 pack abs and a nice chest, well-defined biceps and thighs. I was into yoga, swimming, running, and bouldering... I was into all those sports almost at the same time. That was before all the stress of the corporate world came. Even before I started working, I rarely eat land animals, I rarely drink carbonated and artificially made beverages. Instead, I was addicted to green tea and milk. I had a discipline of only eating twice a day without snacks in between meals, I also had the discipline to measure all I eat. I was almost normal, I pig out like any glutton out there on parties and special occasions, but I bounce back to my abnormal self of a disciplined eater. So what happened? Stress found me and along came the discovery of uncontrolled eating. I grew to as much as 150lbs, I'm only 5'3".

Last year (2009), I got severely depressed because of many different reasons that I already buried (now). Because of of emotional distress and insecurity issues I did not eat for more than a month. Fine! I did eat, two days every week. For workweeks, I did not eat anything at all, I drink not just water, but two liters of Nestea Fit (the one with 900mg of L-Carnitine) everyday. I lost 35lbs in 3 weeks. I was back to 130lbs in less than a month. The catch was, I looked dry, sick, and fragile. Well I was already sick then (with HIV), I just did not know about it until last April of this year. But oh boy! I was a happy lad. my tummy was flat, I can wear shirts I haven't worn for a long time! I was lean for a period of time. Until I knew I have it.

I know the diet/fasting I did last year might have killed me. Beauty has a price they say, luckily I don't feel any tummy-related sicknesses, yet.

I went earlier to our office clinic and now I weight a whopping 152lbs! Fuck! Some of pants are already tight and all of my boxers are tight as well! My shirts make me look like I'm a hotdog with a tight plastic skin on it! I really have to do something with my body.

I want to see and feel my abs again and those V-cut lines of muscles on my thighs and that almost V-shaped indention of muscle on the sides of my groin. My action plan is in line with this bohemian thing going on, eat greens. Not all vegetables are expensive, some types of fish are still cheaper than land animal meat. Most of all, get back into sports! I can do it. I need to get back into that Yogi-Buddhist-Bohemian-Pescetarian-Sporty lifestyle I used to practice.

I say no to:
1.) Fastfood
2.) Artificial drinks - Carbonated beverages, instant/powdered juices/teas.
3.) Supermarket fruits and vegetables - most fruits and veggies in the grocery are superfed with pesticides.
4.) Processed foods
5.) Land animals!

I did it before. I can do it again.

Discliamer: I can have cheat days - there will be days when we have no time to cook or nowhere else to eat but in the friendly neighborhood fastfood joint.

Target weight: 125lbs
Target date: November 15, 2010.
By that time I can pose nude for that much awaited photoshoot for my photographer friend! LOL!

Whew. Here I go. Day one.

Saturday, July 10, 2010


It explodes with much fury
Of its burning fiery.

Of screaming angst
And of dying hope.

Emitting it's wanders
It burns in the buff.

Tears in drought
Reaching out.

Catching it's last breath
Comes a beautiful death.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Luwalhati sa init ng gabi
Tugtog ng salitang hiwaga
Na tila di ko maintindihan
Yakap ng sinung taong
Bago sa buhay ko
Mga araw ng pagbabago
Halina sa aking kuwarto.