Monday, August 30, 2010

Mga bubog ng basag na puso

Binuksan ko ang sarili ko sa taong nagmamahal sa akin ng lubusan. Pilit na ipinasilip ang nasa loob ko, halos wala siyang nakita, dahil halos wala naman talagang natira sa gulagulanit kong pagkatao na sinira ng nagdaang bagyo noong tag-ulan nung nakaraang taon. Humgingi ako ng tawad, dahil hindi ko pa kayang suklian ang kanyang pagmamahal na walang humpay na binibigay sa akin.

Umaagos pa ang dugo sa mga sugat ng aking pagkatao, sanhi ng mga bubog ng aking nabasag na puso.

Humingi ako ng tawad sa mga pagkukulang ko at hinubad ko ang singsing... Kinuha niya ito at muling isinuot sa aking nanginginig na daliri. Hinawakan niya ng mahigpit ang aking kaliwang kamay at pilit niyang ibinaling ang aking tingin sa kanyang mga mata, at kanyang sinabi... "Hindi kita iiwanan, sa panahong ikaw ay sugatan ako ang iyong makakasama. Hindi kita hahayaan sa kalagayan mong 'yan, dahil ayokong mabaon sa lungkot ang taong mahal na mahal ko".

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Hiding in the grasp of night

Why do we bother to stay in the dark? Why do some people choose to stay in the infinite night? Because they are afraid to share their wounds. They choose to stay in the dark, because they don't want people to see that they are wounded and probably still bleeding, they don't want others to see the scars, or perhaps they don't want to be haunted by the shadow.

The darkness gives comfort to the hurt and scarred; it gives refuge to the wounded and broken. Someday, once they let go and open up, and if they are strong enough again... they will embrace the light. So until that day, that they are ready to face the world again, with proud faces, strong feet and bolder souls, they will remain in hiding, in that dark and infinite night.

A friend of mine always say... "The more we go near the light, the longer the shadow becomes."

Friday, August 27, 2010

Usagi's nervous Valentine

I finally found an english dubbed version of the live-action Sailormoon series! I have been watching a few episodes since I discovered its existence a few weeks ago. I can say that I do enjoy watching the series despite of the cheap special effects. The series is still funny with Usagi doing her trademark "sillyness" and the two cats (Luna and Artemis) are cute eventhough they are ridiculously presented in this version, and I mean ridiculous!

This episode is cute and quite sad at the same time... Cute because it's a "puppy-love" episode, it's Valentine's day! Sad, because in this version, Mamuro has a girlfriend. Aww... Poor Usagi. :-(

1/3 Watch as Artemis' eyes change.

2/3 What will you do to win the person you love even he likes or is already with somebody else?


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I stumbled upon what struck me so hard

I just felt I needed to share this to everyone.

Of final destinations

The recent hostage drama that happened in Manila was really a shock to everyone. I will not blog about it, I will leave the opinions to those of you on what you can say on the skills of our local policemen and the reasons behind the drama. Why it occurred in the first place, why those tourists, why such deaths? I am not really into anything that doesn't directly concerns me. Issues that will affect people I love will of course directly concern me. Issues like what happened, is really just something that can happen anywhere else and to anyone. I am thankful, that nobody I care for and love are in that bus or in any mishaps that happened in the past or perhaps present.

That crime is not really that devastating of a news. There are more brutal crimes in rural neighborhoods, as well as where the masses live, where staying alive is a mater of life and death for some. Even in heavily populated "civilized" places, crimes are apparent, like in the famous places such as Cubao, Tondo, Quiapo, Litex, Batasan, and other parts of Metro Manila.

I remember one time when I was going home from work at 3 AM. I passed by on one of the longest pedestrian overpasses in the country along the widest highway in Luzon. There was fresh blood on one spot from the railings down to the cement floor, it was like someone poured blood on what seems to be a crime scene in some Hollywood crime series. There were spatters of blood in a direction leading to the stairs. On the stairway, it was evident that the victim dragged himself down, because of the way the blood was "wiped and spread" on the steps. It seems like the victim either was dragged down or he dragged himself down the stairs to hail a cab or for safety.

The next shift, I just heard the entire news from of my officemates who somehow knew who the guy was because they are from the same college. The guy was a student in one of the prestigious schools in the country, he was stabbed by some stranger on his way home. Intentions were unclear and he was alive and struggling all alone when he crawled down the dark overpass to get help, he died on his way to the hospital. The next day there were candles and his photograph at the scene of the crime. What a waste of life I thought. He seems a pretty cool and smart guy. Too bad he had to suffer and die that way. Such a gruesome death to a boy with such a future. This death and crime was unreported in the news and this happened in the middle of a very busy commercial district.

While I am writing this... I imagine what the guy could have been thinking as he crawls with his few last breaths. What were his last words, who were the last people in his mind before he close his eyes?

Crimes can happen anywhere and anytime, even accidents. There is no safe place on earth. Nowhere.

I remember this article I read of a massacre in Japan. A man just walked in a school and stabbed everyone he can. He killed eight children out of nothing and no reason at all. According to another article I found, he has a mental condition and was an outpatient in a mental hospital. He was sick and tired of life, and he wanted to die but he cannot kill himself, so he wanted to be hanged. One girl who was killed was Rena Yamashita. The girl was an essay contest winner and talked on how she liked Utada Hikaru and wanted to be like her. Utada Hikaru then re-arranged her song Final Distance from her album Distance and made it a ballad, it was then dedicated to young girl who died.

Are we to believe that in the vast web of the universe, our future is already written? If that is so, what is the reason of us living our lives as we are now, trying to do better at things and trying to be better individuals and lead better lives if we are going to a certain destination that has already been written? Why are there predictions? Why are there soothsayers? Why are there omens? Why do some things that have been seen or predicted, happen? Is it because someone with capabilities of seeing the woven thread of destiny saw something? Are we really in charge of our own destiny? Maybe we do have a destiny, perhaps it is the purpose of such that matters.

"“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.” - Deepak Chopra

We don't know what is written for us the thread of destiny. What we should know is why we are here? What is our purpose? What is our role in the web of life? What makes our existence so significant that our mere words and thoughts, actions and reactions; will echo along that string and touch someone else's life and that person's reaction will echo again, touching someone else's life too, and echoing again, until it reaches the far ends of the web and echo itself into eternity, or perhaps back to us... The universal justice, karma.

I believe that all of us and everything else are connected in this universe. We are all lost souls and great soldiers looking for that meaning in life.

Everyone has a final distance, it is up to us to find what it is or how to get to that certain place. It is how we leave our footprints in this life that make our journey worth while, so once we reach our final destination... We can say, that we did live a good and fulfilling life, no matter what way we will leave this world.

So how are we going to get there?

"There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle." - Deepak Chopra

"When someone's wish comes true"

Dareka No Negai Ga Kanau Koro
(Translated lyrics)

I've lost something important because of small things
The cold ring showed its glimmer to me
I said, "All I need is today," but that wasn't the case
The door to you vanished without a sound

The more I wish for your happiness, the more selfish I become
But still, I want you to stay, and I always did
When someone's wish comes true, she'll be crying
That way the door won't make a sound

I wanted to become the only one who can heal you, who is needed by everyone,
and I've endured it a little too much

To wish for own happiness is not selfish, right?
If that's so, I want to hold you as tight as I can
When my tears dry up, she'll be crying
That way, the ground under us won't dry up

The more I wish for your happiness, the more selfish I become
But you never hold me back, you never did
When someone's wish comes true, she'll be crying
Everyone's wishes can't be granted at once

As the small earth rotates, I learn to become more kind
I want to embrace you once more, as soft as I can.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

"Remembering Sunday"

By All Time Low

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days

Leaning now into the breeze remembering Sunday
He falls to his knees, they had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs

Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me

And even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut

Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me

There's a neighbor said, she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense

Oh, I can see now
That all of these clouds are following me
In my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair

And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head

Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now...
I guess I'll go home now...

I guess I'll go home.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Cape no. 7

This happened in May 2, 2010. It was a nice Sunday morning, I spent a few hours hanging out at the smoking area in front of our office building thinking of whether to shoot photographs in Luneta Park, Paco Park, or Intramuros. My camera backpack is quite heavy, it has clothes in it aside from my shooting gear and I don't want to waste such a nice day going home to my place and just staring at the white walls all day or getting hypnotized online. So with some cigarette sticks, I went thinking, think, think, think. I then started to walk towards the direction of RCBC Plaza because my feet are already itching to walk. A few blocks after, I then decided to why not just buy some nice DVDs and spent the rest of the day at home and watch then hibernate afterwards. I then went to iHooked near Pasong Tamo. Spent a couple of hours until Makati Cinema Square opens.

Yes, I went DVD hunting in Makati Cinema Square, I have no idea on what DVDs I will be buying. I spent several hours thinking and browsing stuff until I spotted a stack of old Filipino movies in this particular stall. I slowly broswed through it and I've seen so many movies that I've watched when I was alittle kid. Then some classics caught my attention, I quickly asked the attendant girl on how much each costs, she said with a smile "60 Pesos", cheap, for old hard to find stuff.. I just wished that these DVD copies are clear enough.

I then browsed more movies, I learned that there are two kinds of DVDs being sold, one has the more elaborate and clear packaging that sells for P60 each, then there's the ordinary packed DVDs that sells for P50 each. I asked the people who sells the DVDs if there are any difference aside from the packaging... they said none. I bought the P60 kind, I want my DVDs beautiful and well packaged. I never bothered to haggle for a cheaper price, they're pirated, they're cheap, that's it.

After several hours browsing for DVD's and with a limited budget I chose 4 very old Filipino classic movies... "Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang", a Lino Brocka film that stars Lolita Rodriguez and Christopher De Leon, I heard great reviews about this film. "Pahiram ng Isang Umaga", Ishmael Bernal film, I have watched this film when I was 5 years old or older... I think, I know this movies is an awesome one. "Turuang Apoy, I don't know what this movie is about, but based on the pictures that are printed on a piece of bond paper folded into two that served as the DVD's cover; it's a cheap, sleazy kind of film, a cheap porno back in those days; I bought it to see the beauty of good old soft porn! "Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag", another classic by the legendary director Lino Brocka; I know I have watched this before but I barely remember the story, I know this film is so good! Those are the four local old films I bought, Then I bought 2 Western films...

The western films I bought are... "500 days os Summer", an ex-date introduced me to this film, we watched several clips of this film and I found it really nice, great soundtrack too! "Shutter Island", I wanted to watch this on the big screen but did not get a chance to, hmm.. I wonder why.

Here are the Asian films that caught my attention... "Warrior and the Wolf", I bought it because of the cover, I found it really nice. "Cape no. 7", no english whatsoever written on the package, but the very beautiful postcard like cover and the photo of a guy singing at the back of the package, made me want to buy the DVD copy.

When I arrived at home, I stripped down and took a shower. I was so proud of my body then, I was lean with the right curves and bony edges showing at the right places. Suddenly, I remembered the days when I was young and have joined this cheap contest called Mr. Colt 45 of the night at Jeff's bar/cafe in Ermita, I was a teenager back then and I was against 4 other hunky contestants. Got plenty of free drinks plus a little cash to spend that night as a prize for winning 3rd place. Not bad for a short kid that's not working out and a bit anti-social.

After a while of lounging around naked at my place (which I usually do). I picked a red checkered pair of boxers, prepared extra buttery popped corn, prepared some stuffy thick pillows on the bamboo carpet and started watching.

I watched "Cape no. 7" first, and all I can say is, wow! I was talking to myself the whole time while watching it, I was giggling alone, I was feeling kind of fuzzy all over and was all smiles! I just wanted to blurt out how beautiful the story is, and how beautiful the setting is. The main character is just so, so, so, so, very handsome with such an appeal. You know the suplado, don't-talk-to-me-unless-I-talk-to-you type, the mysterious type, the what-the-hell-is-your-problem type, with looks to match, plus he sings, he writes, and plays a musical instrument? That's him, those are the characteristics of the main guy in this movie. Amazing!

The movie is bilingual, but of course, it has correct subtitles. The movie is bilingual because some of the characters are Japanese, and most are Taiwanese. The setting is in a province in Taiwan. This movie is very light, not much drama, but will make you ask some questions like "why", "what happened", "where is..." and more "WHYs", as the movie progresses.

"Cape no. 7" is just simply... BEAUTIFUL! Location, soundtrack, cinematography, plot, the characters, the "kilig factor" will really kill you! Not to mention the hunkness factor of the protagonist. I am not really a fan of feel-good movies, but this is an exceptional one. This is worth watching if you want a light, comfort movie to either watch alone or with your special someone. Just watch the trailer below to have a look at it yourself and judge if this movie is worth your 60 pesos of a good pirated version. I judged the movie based on its cover, and I was not wrong about it. I'm glad I did it that way.



Wednesday, August 18, 2010

*A Little Pain*

(translated lyrics)

Travel to the moon
You're asleep, as you work out your dreams
There's no one here
While the light of the stars toys with me

In order to become strong
I have to remember how to smile
If we're together, I can do it

* Realize that...
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
I keep on shouting
I'm sure all I have to do
Is pull in the thread that connects our hearts
So the person I was back then
Would open her eyes
No need to cry

Travel in silence
I can reach you if I stretch out my hands
The only memory I have of you
Is so far away

I can hear your voice
If I close my eyes
Even a little pain
Would be nice

Look at me
I'm here waiting for you
Even if you get lost, blown away by the wind
I'm here waiting for you
I look up at the sky
I was protecting my heart
With outstretched hands
Until the person you were back then
Looked back
No need to cry

(Feel something, feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

The cry of a heart's apocalypse

I have this friend at work, his code name is Oracle. When not at work, he lurks on the universe of the internet, seeking a retreat in the wired and wireless forest of the world wide web, aside from his sleep, where he escapes to this altered reality he calls a dream.

He is one of the usually unusual 3 men I talk to at work, daily. They are... The Torpe Nerd, The Strange Musician, and the Blue Techie. Oracle is the Blue Techie, aside from figuratively speaking he has experienced several cases of the "blue screen of death"in his weird wired life. Of the three, he is the most apocalyptically broken. Note, those three do not talk to each other nor they are friends. They are my friends, but they are not friends. Complicated, yes.

I will write more about the three stoogies or rather, my 3 strange friends at work sometime in the future. For now, I want to share this text message Oracle sent me during one of those "episodal" nights (which was the other day) he has been having lately. This is posted with permission from him. I find it heart breaking, and some people out there may be able to relate themselves to his message of his.

"Strange noh? No matter how you want something to last, there will always be a goodbye... But you never can let go, you never really say goodbye, time stands still and you're just there, wishing the person you said goodbye to would turn around and look at you again. Day after day, time stands still for you, while the rest of the world moves on. Surrounded by the people who loves you, who would do anything for you, surrounded by the warmth of a thousand candles giving light to your dark empty heart, and you still feel empty... Like your soul died and left your heart beating, beating that empty rhythm that has neither purpose nor substance... A nobody walking this Earth, too ignorant to see that the heart has given up and eternal rest is its only respite".

This is a prelude to "Memory Girl".

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

"Black Balloon"

Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go on and I'll lead you home and
All because I'm...
All because I'm...
And I'll become...

What you became to me.

*Thank you for keeping your promise.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

None Sense

There is really nothing much to write right now. My mind is blank but I really want to write something... As I think of something to write I am listening to Zooey Deschanel's songs, her voice just makes me feel all cozy and warm. Good music and a good wine makes the mood all nice. Add a few sticks of cigarettes and a pack of nips. All that is missing is a soft downpour of rain.

I switched to Depapepe a few minutes after. I'm on my second glass of wine.

Switched to Luna Sea on my third glass of wine and after two bars of cloud nine, still, not much to write.

4th stick of cigarette, Maaya Sakamoto songs are now playing in my iTunes. Thinking of what to buy for my hobby. I thought that I really want the Lensbaby composer lens with the double glass optic. That would be really nice for urban street shots. I haven't done any street shooting for a while. I miss walking long distances and getting lost while at it. I remember the first time I went for a photowalk in Binondo. I was alone and it was a sunny Sunday afternoon (or was it a Monday?). I walked all the way from the Manila post office to Binondo to Quiapo, and to whereever, back to Binondo, then onwards to Intramuros, that was a very grueling photowalk. I started at 2pm and was finished at 8pm, 6 hours of walking. I got lost in dark alley ways, almost got hit by a kalesa and greeted by the shop attendants in Chinatown, and greeted by the homeless people who live in somewhere in that place full of abandoned buildings along the Pasig river. It was quite an adventure.

Now staring at that last piece of cloud 9 bar after consuming a pack of Nips. I suddenly thought about my weight. I haven't lost any pounds yet. I'm getting frustrated. The shirts I bought last year wouldn't fit me anymore! I don't want to buy new shirts. I want to dress up this halloween as Ikkaku Madarame, that bald guy in the anime Bleach. Bleach, I hate that anime, but I like that Ikkaku guy, just because he is bald and thin. I used to be thin, and I want to model nude for my friend Gardo.

Ayumi Hamasaki, singing Seasons in Youtube. I love this song. It has been more than a decade since I got this fascination and addiction to anything Japanese.

At this point of writing I searched and played a song of the Japanese duo I Wish. I first heard of them years back, when I was still living in Marikina. We have Skycable there, so there's Animax. Back to fascination for anything Japanese... Yes it has been more than a decade. It started with Sailormoon (so gay, right?), then with Rayearth, I was hooked, then came Utada Hikaru... I'm so addicted.

(1 hour later)Eating peanut butter sandwich while watching live-action Sailormoon in Youtube.

That's all from me with this nonsense post.

I leave you guys for now with the theme song from Magic Knight Rayearth, one of my most favorite anime from back then.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

"All is full of love"

Sometimes, we just need to open ourselves to feel the love that is given to us.


You'll be given love
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love
You have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
You are staring at

Twist your head around
It's all around you
All is full of love
All around you

All is full of love
You just ain't receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are all shut
All is full of love!

All is full of love...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Surprise candlelight dinner

surprise dinner

It was around 7 AM and I was tired from a long day at work, I was walking towards my building, I looked at the sky and it was cloudy, "nice, I hope it rains soon" I said to myself. As I climb up the stairs, I thought "Okay, just a few more floors to go and I will be at home and will lay my tired body on my big bed and have a long sleep. I was expecting no one at home but me.

To my surprise, the Japanese table was at the middle of the micro-living-area full of scented tea candles and food for two was prepared. The warm air smelled of citrus and Sonia's album (a favorite Bossa Nova singer) was playing softly in the background and candles in little teacups are on the floor. There he was, standing sweatily in one corner near the foot of my bed, was P, with a smile and his puppy dog eyes.

I had the biggest smile, something that I never had for a long time.

surprise dinner

He was at my condo all along. He prepared dinner (I work at night, so it's my dinner) out of corned beef and buttered vegetables. with green tea for drinks. It was so sweet of him to do something like that. It was unexpected, it was sumptuous and filling, it was very sweet.

I was smiling all the while as we ate dinner. It felt great. I slept soundly with a smile.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My favorite things

Because I have overdone inducing a depression, 'till now it still won't go away. So I have been thinking a few of my favorite things...

1.) Taking pictures
2.) Vanilla ice cream
3.) Raindrops
4.) Night fall
5.) Falling leaves
6.) Long walks
7.) Cheesecakes
8.) Ice cold beers
9.) Dark chocolates
10.) Sunsets

Monday, August 2, 2010

Of open wounds and a dying body

After finishing the drama series 1 Liter of Tears. I thought, what the heck... I really couldn't relate myself that much to what I just watched. It was about someone with an incurable disease, but it's much worse than what I have now. I was not able to relate and I found myself somewhat lost in the middle of watching it. It was about being with a very supportive family. It was mainly about love and family. The main character was surrounded by her big family, her mom was there to always watch over her, her dad who was there to protect here, her siblings who are guides and who are also watching her.

As the series progresses, I somehow put myself into the character's shoes. Did I had a family? Was I ever taken cared of as a child? I realized, I never felt that I had a family. Growing up without a dad, with my mom whom I hated so much, a stepdad that I wished would be dead (he is now), a half brother that I denied for so long. All of those things came in mind as I watched the ending series. I never had a family or at least I never felt I had one.

I have wanted so much and for so long to have a family. I grew up believing and feeling that everything was kept from me, my freedom, my future, my dad. I hated my mom for everything she did to me, to my childhood, and for ruining our family. I know she wanted to keep me as her son, and she believed that she can raise me alone. I thought otherwise. I dreamt of someday being free and on my own. That, I am living now.

I left my old life behind, lived in solitude and in the comfort of loneliness. Some came along, but I guess, we have to be broken in order for us to understand things even more and see what needed to be seen within ourselves, and realize what needed to be fixed for us to move along this web of life.

I already have scars and still have open wounds. Forgiveness looms somewhere in my cold heart, 'till that day comes and as the water of hate runs dry. I hold on to my broken past to fuel my passion to walk forward. I know it's wrong but it is the only way for me not to repeat the darkness of what was. I do pray to God that he give me the strength to find forgiveness in my cold and dark heart.

As you all know as well as most people close to me already know. I am living with an incurable disease. I don't know how many more years I still have before I reach the final stages of HIV. Most people know it takes 10 years before this becomes full blown and becomes AIDS, but it will also depend on the overall health of the person. I have been in terrible pain this past few days. I have to have all of my impacted tooth removed before my CD4 cells go down further, I already started to feel pain in my stomach and I have UTI. I already have been taking antibiotics and a lot of pain relievers. I will go to the dentist soon, perhaps tomorrow. I need to take care of myself more and more each day. Sometimes I forget that I am sick, I forget that I am unlike most people with healthy immune systems, I often forget that it is not okay for me to catch a cold or cough or get soaked in rain or get tired or not have enough sleep... They are not okay for me anymore. I often forget that my immune system is slowly shutting down. One day, a simple cold will kill me. So as early as now, I must do whatever I can not to get sick while I still have enough antibodies to heal myself of any infections. I must do everything I can to become healthier. The fight to stay alive has barely began, so I must prepare.

There are still a lot I want to do, there are still wounds I have to heal, and everytime I play one of my favorite songs and as it reaches the peak of its message and chorus, I never forget to say... God, I am not ready to come home.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Along the way

I am in a very cold bus on a rainy Saturday night. It's kind of difficult to type on my phone while thus bus is moving along Commonwealth highway. It's beautiful to see lights at night being reflected on the wet streets and sidewalks along the way. The window has a mist like cover with veins of water drops across every angle. It's like stained glass, beautifully blurring the view outside; only this this window has a clear silhouette of blur of what's outside. Listening to tracks in my phone, trying to induce a melancholic episode in this solitary moment on my way to work. Corner of East Avenue and EDSA, about to get off the bus.

I'm wearing a yellow hoodie, and the train is pretty crowded on a southbound trip at 7:30 PM, on a Saturday. I noticed a lot of men are still sporting the same shaved head look as I have. Seems it is already too cold and wet for such a look. No matter what the weather is, it is just easy to maintain, plus it is clean and neat looking for any guy with a nicely shaped head. As for me, as soon as my sideburns thicken again as well as my mustache, I'l have the boho look again... Dirty and hairy, because I only shave my face and head once a month at my favorite barber shop in SM Fairview named Hairport. Buendia Station.

In a bus from Buendia to Ayala. Almost no traffic and the streets are almost empty in Ayala Avenue, so nice. Shirtless Chinese military men on training on a shooting range is being shown on the TV in the bus. It caught my attention for a moment, no gay guy would pass on watching men with smooth and lean muscles shooting their guns. Back to my typing... A Beautiful World is now playing in my phone, music player on random play. Insular life building suddenly in view, I'm getting off soon.