For My Dearly Departed

She has chinky eyes and the whitest skin, evidence of a Chinese kin. She always have reddish wine colored hair, that are always softly curled. I always see her with her metal curlers if at home. I heard she was very strict to her children, as many say. Being an educator all her life and coming from a very prominent but small clan, by default, she must be.

When I lived with her, in her small, old house in the Queen city of the south... My mornings were always greeted with the smell of fried eggs, fried rice, danggit and chorizo. My cousins who are all the way from Mactan will drive to the city and would come rushing to eat breakfast with us before heading off to school. I remember we would always line up the sink to wash our hands before going to the dining table. I can still smell the wood and the antiquity of her post American era house.

She always told be I'm a bright boy. How I wish I can share to her my shining glory of where I am right now. She was right all along, I am a bright boy; still shining through the vast universe, of life. Will you be proud of me, if you are still here to see? ...all of these?

I once wished to join you, but I guess it is not yet time. That was the point that I never felt so alone. In times like those, how I wish I could just run to you and cry myself out to your knees and your old crumply hands, making its way to my hair, rubbing them on my head, and you will say... It's going to be alright... Just like when I was a little boy, crying and looking for my mom. You were always there to comfort me, you were always there when I needed you. During my times of despair and loneliness, I hold on to the memory of you. Praying that you are watching me too.

I miss you so much Mommylola, please say "hello" to daddylolo for me. Please tell him that I miss him too and our regular visits to his favorite barbershop. I will never forget those errands he made me do during my first week in the city, those little errands forced me to learn Cebuano really fast, it was effective.

Mommylola... Your bright little boy has grown up, proving himself to the world, and *still trying to smile.

For My Dearly Departed
by Franco

When I woke up it seemed
Like my world was caving in
I won't break down this time
I'll be fine

With dull dimensions speaking of the truth
And howls of chaos,
the bleeding of the moon
Rounding up this time
I'll be fine

Let your love caress me
Like the tide embraces the sea
Let our soul connection bring me alive today

Am I lost and can't be found?
Heaven's locked, hell not a sound
All my angels left and gone
It rains down

Turn the key enough for rescue
And burn the light, the light that burns through
But here it comes again
It rains down
It rains down
It rains down...

Well, live your life a little
Breathe in and out a little
I say a prayer for you

Let your love caress me
Like the tide embraces the sea
Let our soul connection bring me alive today
Today
Today...



*browsing through my childhood pictures, I noticed that I rarely smile, even until now.