Looking back at the year that was, 2010

As I look back at the outgoing year, I can say it was pretty decent. I mean, I had a lot of plans set up, I had so many action plans made... None were accomplished due to certain reasons and pity excuses, but still, I survived this year and it's good, I am still thankful for all the blessings I got and the things and people I have in my life.

I got diagnosed with HIV this year, and it was definitely an eye opener. Learning that I will someday struggle each day to live with caution beyond the ability of a normal human being was overwhelming. The idea grew on me, and I got used to it. Now, sometimes I forget that I have a condition, that is careless 'though. Learning I am living with HIV opened new doors for me. As some doors open, others closed. I did close my door to one person I greatly regret meeting and I only written once about him, I made poetry for him, one last poem for one last good-bye.

2010, was a struggle for me, financially. I never got depressed so much about money until this year. Thinking about the budget and learning new ways to stretch it from payday to payday is such an ordain that I don't want to experience anymore. Money is so important for me at this age, because I grew up having too little of it.

I met P this year, and he is just the sweetest man I have. He is the tickle of my sad soul.

My dad and I grew closer more than ever, since he knew about my condition. We really don't know each other that much, and for him to make up for the lost time is such a rush, because he knows that I will not be here longer than he expects. My mom, well, we grew closer too, in a good way, she changed in a good way too. I have not written about her in my blog, because we had issues. Hopefully the issues are flushed out from our system after our holiday shopping this season.

This year I started to finally blog continuously, hits were quite nice and I enjoyed writing about my life and my wanderings. I gained friends, and talked to a handful of interesting personalities, I also learned a lot from reading other people's blogs. A lot inspired me too! It is such a delight to view life from another person's perspective, somehow, you get to know that person and how his life is, I have my favorites. To everyone, I thank you for reading my blog and being there when I got sick, depressed, or having an "episodal" attack, or during the times that I am happy; as well as during times of just flat posts. I really appreciate everything, and I am thankful for all your support and for following the story of my life through blogosphere. I will continue to blog, I will continue to share my story and the stories that I have and will be learning along my journey. I might have been on hiatus from blogging this holiday season, but I am back, this is one of my few passions, and the flame will continue burning.

Happy new year, everyone!

My favorite lines...

Soundtrack is great, mod interiors and some mod wear all throughout the movie, it's everywhere; as well as drugs, heroine to be exact. Inspite of all "F" words and drugs blatantly expressed in the movie, this is not just a movie about drugs and drug addicts. This is a movie about life.

Here are my favorite(specially 2, 8, 9 and 10) lines from my one of my favorite movies, Trainspotting.


*****

(1)
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines,
cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers.
Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter
home. Choose your friends.
Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.
Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fuckingfabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sundaymorning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing,
spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into yourmouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all,
pishing your last in a miserable home,
nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-upbrats you have spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future. Choose life.
But why would I want to do a thing like that?
I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And thereasons? There are no reasons.
Who needs reasons when you've got Heroin?

*****

(2)
1,000 years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me.

*****

(3)
Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium, which I've already procured from my mother, who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I'm ready. All I need is one final hit to soothe the pain while the Valium takes effect.

*****

(4)
People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid.

*****

(5)
It seems, however, I really am the luckiest guy in the world. Several years of addiction right in the middle of an epidemic, surrounded by the living dead. But not me. I'm negative. It's official. And once the pain goes away, that's when the real battle starts. Depression, boredom... You feel so fucking low, you want to fucking top yourself.

*****

(6)
We took morphine, diamorphine, cyclizine, codeine, temazepam, nitrazepam, phenobarbitone, sodium amytal, dextropropo xyphene, methadone, nalbuphine, pethidine, pentazocine, buprenorphine, dextromoramide, chlormethiazole. The streets are a wash with drugs you can have for unhappiness and pain, and we took them all. Fuck it, we would of injected vitamin C if only they'd made it illegal.

*****

(7)
Better than sex, Rents. Better than sex. The ultimate hit. I'm a fucking adult, I can find out for me self. Well I'm finding out all right.

*****

(8)
You see if you ask me we're heterosexual by default, not by decision. It's just a question of who you fancy. It's all about aesthetics and it's fuck all to do with morality.

*****

(9)

It beats any meat injection. That beats any fucking cock in the world.

*****

(10)
The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.

Outer Space

For the nth time I wanted to fly
Up and high in the sky and reach...
Clusters of stars and galaxies
Knowing the coldness and the dark unknowns of the universe, I might
End up lost and hovering still, in the...
Dead silence all around me, only the stars to guide me.

Up and away
Protecting the fire

An hour past midnight

Sitting on bamboo sheets
Half naked down to my aching feet
Listening to melodies of ambient beat
Drowning in warm yellow, feeling its heat.

15/365: Xian's new room

From top left to right:
Built-in flash diffusers(white, blue, yellow),lenspen,blower, Canon 50mm F1.8 II lens, Canon 18-55 F3.5-4.6 lens, battery, batter charger, remote and Sandisk 8GB SD card, Xian (Canon 500D), Silica gel pack, cleaning cloth.

Monday early afternoon, I was supposed to go to Pag-Ibig Fund to pay my loan payment for my condo, then suddenly inside the bus; I realized... It was a holiday. So I then decided to go to Tomas Morato to buy some stuff for Xian.

I finally bought him his own room! A Dry Box with a hygrometer to monitor humidity. So after more than a year of living in my Lowepro camera backpack, Xian finally has a decent and safe room of his own together with his accessories. Also, I bought a new all black tripod for Xian after losing the first one in a tricycle.

14/365: For Sale

13/365: A night in sepia

12/365: Happy Birthday Xian!

It has been exactly 1 year since my Canon Kiss X3(Xian)/500D was taken out of its box. We still have a lot of places to go to and shoot, Xian!

11/365: Silip ng dapithapon

10/365: Heart Station

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Blog Drama Theatre Presents: Soltero's Si BFF at AKO - Official Sound Tracks

Because I have been so hooked to Soltero's blog-mini-series titled Si BFF at AKO. I was inspired to make a playlist that will best fit his story. Songs are arranged according to key events in his series.

I hope you'll like this one Mr. Soltero and I hope you guys will like the playlist I made.



Music Playlist at MixPod.com

My Top 5s: Top five songs that perfectly describes how I feel right now

I'm only happy when it rains - Garbage


Bullet with butterfly wings - The Smashing Pumpkins


Cat and mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


Hands - Jewel


Reinventing your exit - Underoath

9/365: Ang pagtawid

8/365: Knockin' on heaven's door

7/365: Gossip Girl

Violent reaction

I just want to reply to some comments in my previous posts. I'm sorry, but I just can't get over it if I will not react.

Post
November blues and Christmas hues
Comment
"importante ang pera para mabuhay pero di mahalaga yan dahil di mo madadala sa langit yan . importante ay mahalaga na maging msaya ka oo madame nagagawa ng pera pero naisip mo ba na yan ang sisira sau pag dating ng panahon? siguro its abt time na maging masaya ka kung ano meron ka. wla masamang maghangad ng mas mataas pero kung ang pag hahangad ay ang bagay na lalong sisira sa pangarap mo ay walang mangyayari sa pinaghirapan mo. move on and dream pero wag maging sakim sa karangyaan dahil kahit isang katutak ang pera mo kung di ka naman masaya wala din yan o kung may pera ka masaya ka nga pero ang kasiyahan nababalutan ng salapi baliwala. mabaet kang tao matalino di ang pera ang magpaasunod sau. dahil kahit mag ipon ka ng todo kung dumating panahon lilisan ka san mo gagamitin yan baka pag awayan lang yan ng iiwanan mo."
Reply
Kilala mo ba ako? Alam mo ba kung saan ako nanggaling? Alam mo ba ang mga pangarap ko sa buhay? Siguro sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa blog ko eh mistulang "materialistic" akong tao. Oo, inaamin ko, "materialistic" nga ako, at hindi ako nakukuntento, dahil ambisyoso ako. Ang pagiging ambisyoso ko ang siyang naging susi para makamtan ko ang mga pangarap ko. Ang pagiging mahirap ko nung pagkabata naman at ang mga ambisyon ko ang nagtutulak sa akin para abutin ang mga pangarap ko. Pera, isang bagay na nagpapaikot sa mundong ito, isang bagay na kapos ako noon, isang bagay na importante sa akin ngayon. Maaring hindi nga nabibili ang tunay na kaligayahan, pero nabibili niya ang mga pangangailangan ko at higit pa. Ang pera ay hindi ko nga madadala sa langit, pero lubos na kailangan ko ito para mabuhay ng maayos at hindi nagugutom sa mundong ito. Higit sa lahat, pera ang nakapagbigay sa akin ng mga pangarap ko, at pera din ang makakabili ng mga iba pang bagay na gusto ko at pinapangarap ko pa. Pera din ang kailangan nating lahat para hindi ipagtabuyan at hindi pabayaan sa isang ospital kapag isa sa mga mahal natin sa buhay ay nagkasakit. Maaring maging dahilan ng gulo, kasakiman o pagkasira ng buhay ang pera, pero ito rin ang siyang bumubuhay sa ating lahat.

Post
Pandemonium black
Comments
"lumaban at magmahal
sa pagpapatawad dun mararamdaman ang tunay na pag mamahal.
Someone can drive you pero kaw dapat sa sarili m na dapat matuto kang magpatawad at maging tapat. Sa pag kukubli sa dilim paglala ng iyong sakit ang magiging sanhi.
Dude kip it up galing m sumulat sana mas maganda kung tunay na kulay ng bulaklak ang nilagay m."

"sayang ung ganda ng flowers mas maganda kung may kulay yan dahil ang intensyon ng nagbigay pasiyahin ka di gawing miserable ang buhay mo.

go with colors it will make your dreams come true"
Reply
Halatang hindi mo naiitindihan ang sinulat kong tula, pero salamat sa comment. Regarding the colors of the flowers... This is my blog, this is my world, I can create anything I want from my mind. Black is one of my favorite colors, melancholy is my cup of tea.

6/365: 'til my last moment...

5/365: Sa iyong mga bisig

4/365: Mga alaala sa Maynila

3/365: Cabinet

2/365: Tea for two

Celebrating my birthday with an afternoon tea with Angel.


2/365: Earl Grey


The iconic star of The Lobby


We are always almost at the same table and we are always at the same area for the past 10 years.


The Tuesday dinner crowd


A small orchestra plays Moon River


A view from the right wing of the lobby's balcony. It was my first time to tour that part of the hotel after all these years.


Lisa Ono's Moon River

1/365: Window

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go blind
Some kind of light into your darkness
Colors your eyes with what's not there.

Words from the song Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

Through the years, thank you for the people I've grown up with

Angel, Anne, Goth Chick, Jay, Michael.

Thank you.

The birthday boy!

The eating fest-celebration started on the evening of the 14th. P cooked pasta, prepared fruit salad, as well as one meat dish. My dad went over to my place with sapin-sapin and patatim. The food were delicious! The Goth Chick came over too, with a sumptuous cake from Bannapple. I am so full as of this writing.

After having dinner at my place, Me, P, Goth chick and her boyfriend all went out for ice cream in Timog, P ate more. Then off to Figaro for coffee and more talks and ctaching up, I haven't seen the Goth Chick for a long while.

Strike of midnight, two texts came... They were from Angel and Anne, two people who shaped and took great care of me. I told Anne "wow, you're the first one" (Angel came in second by only seconds), she said "I will always be the first and the last!"... Awww. I'll See Anne tonight and it will be just the two of us, she wanted a date with only the two of us. I'll see Angel on Tuesday at our favorite glutton-hideout... Manila Peninsula.

I'm already 28, good changes have to come within me. I have to stand on goals to reach for my dreams and keep that passion and drive for life, burning.

Thank you, God for always being at my side, as well as for always taking care of me.

Can't wait to see, Anne and Angel!

LSS part 2

This are the songs I have been listening ging to work, at work, and going home.

2 weeks running

NOTE: I even blasted a message across the floor "No After calls please, you can finish the song I Saw the Sign by Ace of Base without getting a call". LOL!

3 days running


2 days running

HIV/AIDS across the globe

Here are my favorite photographs from Flickr's Positive Lives page. All credits are under each photograph.

I hope this series of photographs will open everyone's eyes to the the dangers and challenges of contracting the virus. The dangers are real, and it varies from each individual and manifests into many different forms.

I also hope this post will further open minds and hearts on what people like me who are living with HIV faces everyday and how it affects everyone around us. Perhaps, this too will make more people understand what it is like to live with the virus, and realize the challenges and fears we face as we live with an incurable condition.

Photos from Positive Lives

SOUTH AFRICA

AIDS and HIV as it affects children.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10029394


Baby in terminal stages of AIDS in area where 30% of pregnant mothers are testing positive.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10132070

MOZAMBIQUE

Arlet Neves, 38. Her sister died of Aids, sitting with her nephew who is afraid of discrimination in spite of not having the disease.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10157208

MALAWI

'A long day of Dying' 35-40% of patient illness at the hospital is AIDS-related.

"Officially we have beds for 110 patients, but we now have about 130 patients and 250 outpatients a day. It's difficult to say accurately how many have died of AIDS because we have run out of reagent for testing and haven't been able able to test. We have approximately one death per day. We lack equipment, we lack staff, we don't have medicines. We don't even have plaster tape, so we have to use masking tape to attach drips or splints to patients arms. We are overwhelmed in every aspect of the epidemic"
Dr Maurice Bonongwe, Director.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10137436

ZAMBIA

Home care volunteer Violet Mukosha comforts one of her clients in Nkwazi Compound in Ndola.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10124398


Children at an anti-Aids club perform a short play about a schoolgirl becoming HIV positive.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10101380

THE PHILIPPINES

"It is there all the time, I always think about it, even when I am sleeping. I worry about what will happen to my daughter when I go".
Photograph by Harriet Logan / Gill Turner Agency.
HLA-10153349


Michael Christopher with Sister Sol.
Photograph by Harriet Logan / Gill Turner Agency.
HLA-10153438


Jack, Au and Len Len...
Photograph by Harriet Logan / Gill Turner Agency.
HLA-10153364

THAILAND

Lumpai Sirattanan holds her emaciated husband during his final hours. He was once a Thai boxing champion. Lumpai has also tested positive.
Photograph by Jack Picone.
JPB-10149432


A western volunteer comforts a patient who craves to be touched. Touching helps them so much psychologically.
Photograph by Jack Picone.
JPB-10149439

INDIA

Sidha Doctor, Sidha medicine is a 5000 year old medicine using herbs and minerals.
Photograph by Dayanita Singh / NbPictures.
DSD-10110642


HIV positive children are housed in female wards, often brought after parents have died..
Photograph by Dayanita Singh / NbPictures.
DSD-10110641



Stephen Vidyakar gives water to a dying women. She was found abandoned by the police, who brought her to Stephen. This home has 100 destitute women, 38 of who are HIV positive. Destitute women that come to Stephen (himself an orphan) have often been raped multiple times and end up becoming HIV positive. Stephen set up an orphanage 15 years ago. Today he has centres all over the state to look after the destitute, orphans and the mentally ill. He has no government support or grant money.
Photograph by Dayanita Singh / NbPictures.
DSD-10110581

AUSTRALIA

Andrew's sense of humour carried him through frequent hospital visits - here he has slapped a sticker on his forehead during a trip to casualty with a focal siezure..
Photograph by Jack Picone.
JPB-10118701


Family and staff care for Andrew in his last moments.
Photograph by Jack Picone.
JPB-10118704


UNITED KINGDOM

Frank and Louise - Frank gets ready for his medication, which Louise will help administer.
Photograph by Judah Passow.
JPA-10009936


F and Katherine - Time to relax and enjoy the day.
Photograph by Judah Passow.
JPA-10009944


John - John's boyfriend often stayed over at the hospital.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10010028


John - A nurse gives John a kiss. The staff were very fond of John.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10010030


Steven - Steven tried to maintain control over his treatment and often challenged the medical team at the hospital about his prescriptions and blood transfusions.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10010038


Andre - Andre sharing a special moment with his mother.

Andre was in for routine treatment when he suddenly became critically ill. His partner and mother have been very supportive during his time in hospital.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10010047


Andre - Andre with his mother and partner, he was seriously ill.
Photograph by Gideon Mendel / Corbis.
GMA-10010045

To activate or not to activate?

November 8th, 2010... Early morning, a knock sounded on the door. It was a mail delivery guy. P opened the door and a letter in a blue envelop was handed to him. He needs to sign it, so it must be something important, it was from Globe.

The envelop was big, and the envelop paper was thick and has the quality of an expensive greeting card. I thought that it might be my next bill and they have upgraded their envelops, but it was thick, so something must be inside. "I wonder what this could be" I thought.

I was still in bed when the letter arrived. P handed it to me, it was heavy for a billing statement. I opened it, and there it is... Hidden within many sheets of letters and brochures... A black credit card. It was a very nice piece of plastic. On its black plastic body with a matte finish are the silver letters and numbers of the account, validity dates, and of course, my name. It was almost just like any fancy credit card out there, but what sets this credit card apart amongst the many is the word Platinum on its face. I had a supplementary Gold credit card before, under Angel's name. Since we broke up, I never had one again nor applied or even attempted to apply for a new one. For some reason, I was chosen to be a holder and an owner of such card. Now, in front of me is a distinguishing upgrade of what I had and of my buying power.

A Platinum credit card, with a whopping credit limit that can make me purchase a car at a single swipe. A card that only the rare few are granted of, and symbolizes the status symbol of the owner. Makes me think of the possibilities as well as responsibilities I will be having if ever I choose to activate this card.

I know the dangers that lie with the misuse of such power. Some people get into big trouble and in deep shit if they charge too much of what they earn. That's why control, discipline, and responsible use, as well as awareness are greatly needed for such a thing.

With the facts laid in front of me, the practicalities, the perks, the pros and cons... One question remains. To activate or not to activate?

My most favorite music artist, and a dedication to the broken

Perhaps some of you already know who is my most favorite musical artist of all time. For me, she is an epitome of a true musical genius. Being able to write, compose, arrange, and even produce her songs and albums is such a great feat for someone, and starting at a very young age is already quite rare. Worldwide success and topping the charts is incredible enough.

She is Utada Hikaru. I first discovered her music during my highschool days because of a video that was played in MTV, Automatic. It became so popular even to the local masses that the T.G.I.S cast danced to its tune in Eat Bulaga. What really caught me, was her song First Love. The single became such a success and achieved such local popularity that it had a tagalog version, I was so mad! They murdered the song, figuratively speaking. That same song got me hooked, and I was addicted to her, ever since. I got all of her albums, originals of course. I was able to download rare and live radio recordings of hers and I got all of her wallpapers and music videos, talk about being a fanatic!

Anyway, because of Soltero's recent posts, I can't help but dedicate a song or two for him and to all whose beating hearts have been pierced by a certain someone, leaving it bleeding, wounded, scarred. He is the root cause of this post, it happens that the songs I thought perfect for him are from my most favorite artist, ever. So an introduction is necessary.

I hope you guys (and Soltero) will like the translated lyrics, the song, as well as the video. It made me crave for Audio Technika's ATH-SQ5 headphones, but $129.99 is just too much for me for a pair of headphones.

*****

HEART STATION

On a day battered with unforgiving cold rain,
There sits a couple who have reasoned everything out
In a car that now relies on the radio to pierce the silence.

There is no meaning to goodbye,
Because if we were to meet again someday,
Wouldn’t that be just wonderful?

Were you able to hear my voice as I spoke?
The Heart Station broadcasting at one o’clock in the dead of night
Requires no tuning on the dial as it lies
On a secret frequency.

Were the radio waves of my heart able to reach you?
It’s broadcasting from the Heart Station of sinners
And only God knows
How much I miss you.

I can’t go on without forgetting you,
That’s how it seems at least... But why is it then
That only all the good memories of us remain?

Without a doubt, though I’ve separated from you, you’re right here...
Right here at the centre of my heart.

I felt like I heard your voice back there,
Coming from the Heart Station that broadcasts at 1 in the night.
Wherever I am, there always seems to be
This beating of two pulses.

Were the radio signals of my heart able to get to you?
It broadcasts from the Heart Station of lovers,
And tonight’s requests also flood in with myriads of...
“I Love You”.

This voice of mine, were you able to hear it?
It’s broadcasting in the small hours of the night from that Heart Station...
Even now, we are still connected
On this secret frequency.

Were you able to receive these transmissions from my heart?
They come from the Heart Station of sinners
And only God knows.... this secret I keep.

*****

Because this entry is inspired by Soltero's two latest posts (see post 1 and post 2) I think it is necessary post a video of a random guy I found in Youtube, men as we all know is his nourishment.

I think this guy's Asian thinness and exceptional guitar playing talent are sexy-hot. Notice how passionate he plays his guitar. Moving to the peak of the song until the end made me swear... "Tang'na, ang galing galing mo!"

Saguijo, a place to get lost in musical rawness

Whenever I have the usual craving for something raw, inspiring, moving, and a fill of live music to bang my ears while spending an alone time with myself... I go to this place tucked in the edge of Makati's Central Business District. An old, up and down house turned into a small cafe, the second floor turned into a small art gallery and the next room to an ukay-ukay store. Ironically, I usually bring my friend the Goth Chick with me, I know I wanted some time alone, but I don't mind her tagging along. Bringing a fellow hardcore music enthusiast means we both have a "leave me alone" state whenever we are already in that place. That place where new and budding talents as well as the rooted and more well known bands perform to awe the snobbish crowd of fanatics, artists, photographers and enthusiasts, the emopsychotic loners, the Goth Chicks, the Bohemians, fellow band groups, and of course... the usual people(who are not snobbish but wants to get everybody's attention) who just wanted to "be seen" and the weekend huddle of the new age "chikiting patrollers" with their young teenage faces and attitudes armed with their parent's money and flamboyant displays of expensive mobile phones and DSLRs as their bling-blings with loud squeals of their puberty.



This place is, Saguijo. My first visit was back in 2005, my bohemian friend tagged me along to watch the band of his friend perform. On our way to that place, one will never knew such a venue exists in the middle of a residential area. Along the way on Guijo street, I started to notice an unusual number of parked cars and I started to see several people walking towards one direction. It's like going to a rock concert and a gathering of activists. If you know what the usual U.P. crowd looks like, you'll know what I mean (I am not from any university). The cafe was well hidden, and one must turn to several corners before landing to front of its gate.



My friend told the cab driver to stop, and we got off to a small gate with bystanders that look like a small army of reggae fans. We went in and paid tickets at the small booth. The place was small, very small in fact that it gets really tightly jam-packed and hot inside. Not only that you will be literally rubbing elbows with everyone else, but also, rubbing sweat! You have to squeeze your way just to get to the bar or to the common restroom. Yes, there is only one restroom! The nice thing about that restroom is it is relatively clean knowing the number of people who uses it on a single night. One part of the wall is neatly vandalized with different poems, messages, "shout-outs", and whatever thoughts people might think, no porno messages written.



On that night, Urbandub was just starting to be popular, Kaya was also making it's way to "populardom", that was my friend's friend's band by the way. One thing I like about the Saguijo crowd is that they are well behaved, most of them. Where the loud men, women, and kiddies are hushed. Most of the time, people don't care at all, they just stand and listen to the music.













People flock to that cafe to listen to music an get a dose of its rawest form. There are small lounges outside that caters to people who wants to eat and talk while listening to the performing bands. I prefer getting inside and get as near as possible to the bands I like and get lost and swim in the sea of sweaty bodies all around me. It is exhilarating to jump in unison with the music and the rest of the audience as we sing out the lyrics of our favorite songs of our favorite bands, it's a priceless experience... It's like being lost in space and being one with world at the same time.