Why we (I) Blog

Blogging has been a lot people's way to have their voice heard or their presence seen online. It is also a good way to connect to people with certain interest that the writer has as well as with people with the same point of views with the writer. However , one thing I noticed in more than a year that I have been blogging, that there are quite a number of blogs that starts well, but eventually just stops at some point.

There are quite a few bloggers that went or are going through the struggle of keeping their blog alive and their presence felt. They start to question themselves why do I blog? Some of them just cannot think of what to write anymore or what to blog about. They lack inspiration and having a writer's block all the time. Like the local HIV blogs for example, last year there were quite a number of local HIV blogs that I had stumbled upon. Now, only two or three of us that I am aware of are still updating their blogs regularly. I think the reasons on why most of the local HIV blogs just stopped all of a sudden is because they have moved on from the stage of depression. Depression was one big thing why they blogged in the first place. The felt lost with no one and with nowhere to go to regarding their newly found out status. Now, I do believe that they are happy and they have accepted their situations, so they stopped. With that said as an example, it clearly means that blogging is a phase for some or an occasional outlet of one's dark days. Once they are happy again, they leave the blogging world together with the words of being lost, desperation and sadness with it, forever afloat in the vast universe of the internet, almost forgotten. One reason why some stops blogging is to put a close to a chapter of their lives. They stop blogging not necessarily because they have a new state of emotion, but to put a close to something they want to move on from.

I blog because I want to share my passion with the world and tho show them the music I listen to and the life I lead; expressing myself with the use of the two mediums I passionately love, writing and photography. I continue to blog because I have so many stories to tell and experiences to share, because stories unfold everyday. I blog because I want to reach out to those living with HIV (like me) that it is okay, that we can survive, we can live long, healthy, happy, and productive lives. I want to show the world that having HIV is not a hindrance to one's normalcy.

I blog, because I want to tell my story.

Looking back at the year that was, 2010

As I look back at the outgoing year, I can say it was pretty decent. I mean, I had a lot of plans set up, I had so many action plans made... None were accomplished due to certain reasons and pity excuses, but still, I survived this year and it's good, I am still thankful for all the blessings I got and the things and people I have in my life.

I got diagnosed with HIV this year, and it was definitely an eye opener. Learning that I will someday struggle each day to live with caution beyond the ability of a normal human being was overwhelming. The idea grew on me, and I got used to it. Now, sometimes I forget that I have a condition, that is careless 'though. Learning I am living with HIV opened new doors for me. As some doors open, others closed. I did close my door to one person I greatly regret meeting and I only written once about him, I made poetry for him, one last poem for one last good-bye.

2010, was a struggle for me, financially. I never got depressed so much about money until this year. Thinking about the budget and learning new ways to stretch it from payday to payday is such an ordain that I don't want to experience anymore. Money is so important for me at this age, because I grew up having too little of it.

I met P this year, and he is just the sweetest man I have. He is the tickle of my sad soul.

My dad and I grew closer more than ever, since he knew about my condition. We really don't know each other that much, and for him to make up for the lost time is such a rush, because he knows that I will not be here longer than he expects. My mom, well, we grew closer too, in a good way, she changed in a good way too. I have not written about her in my blog, because we had issues. Hopefully the issues are flushed out from our system after our holiday shopping this season.

This year I started to finally blog continuously, hits were quite nice and I enjoyed writing about my life and my wanderings. I gained friends, and talked to a handful of interesting personalities, I also learned a lot from reading other people's blogs. A lot inspired me too! It is such a delight to view life from another person's perspective, somehow, you get to know that person and how his life is, I have my favorites. To everyone, I thank you for reading my blog and being there when I got sick, depressed, or having an "episodal" attack, or during the times that I am happy; as well as during times of just flat posts. I really appreciate everything, and I am thankful for all your support and for following the story of my life through blogosphere. I will continue to blog, I will continue to share my story and the stories that I have and will be learning along my journey. I might have been on hiatus from blogging this holiday season, but I am back, this is one of my few passions, and the flame will continue burning.

Happy new year, everyone!