Self medication and careful observation (HIV and natural remedies)

As of this writing it is now 4 minutes before 4 AM. I am supposed and was planning to go to San Lazaro to have myself checked. However, I don't feel that there's anything wrong with my anymore, no more cough and colds nor sore throat. It seemed that as every day passed, I am getting better. I was thinking of the blood incident the other day that every time I blow my nose there was blood, someone told me that every time I sleep I poke my nose too hard, and I have a history of a waking up finding myself with a bleeding face. So it was my fingers that were the culprit. I looked at my nails and the tips were black and long as if I lived back in the caveman era, I did cut my nails right away.

I have decided not to go to the hospital to have myself checked. Of reasons such as... the long lines and long wait might just make me more stressed thus will make me sick again, and the commute all the way to Manila will make me sick and tired. I will only go to the hospital to get my refills and submit my lab tests or for my CD4 count. Besides, I can go there in dire cases such as when I had a 41 degree fever last year. As of right now, I am completely okay. No more blood whenever I blow my nose, taking into consideration that whenever I cough there was no blood, but only when I sneeze, that means my nasal cavity is wounded, is that because I poke my nose too hard when sleeping? The cold and tonsillitis, I am not sure if these two are related, but whenever I have colds I get tonsillitis. So as long as I get rid of the damn cold, the tonsillitis will go away.

Why did I had colds in the first place? I went to the UP Fair and got home at 5 AM, I was already awake at 4 AM the day before, this was Saturday. Sunday night, me and PJ had a late dinner, I went home at midnight then woke up at 3 AM. Monday, went to work without an umbrella and stayed late night with my friend Monica and ate a lot of sweets including 12 ounces of ice cream from Dairy Queen, which might have triggered the bacterial infection. Tuesday morning, had a terrible case of colds and tonsillitis. So there, I lacked sleep and never had enough rest for the past couple of days, thus a lowered immune response resulting to bacterial infection of the throat and sinus.

I did not really take anything synthetic aside from the ARVs when I got sick. I just stayed in bed for hours on end, only getting up to go to the bathroom or to eat. Plus I eat spicy food, they say spicy food helps eliminate bacteria from the body. I was all clear in just three days, including today. Taking into consideration that as someone with HIV I am still prone to bacterial and fungal infections, thus, I will then make some research on an antibacterial diet. the ARVs already make me less prone to even the strongest viruses, err.. HIV? So the only thing I have to address are bad bacterias and fungi. I don't want to take so much antibiotics anymore, aside from they rid of the body of also the good bacteria, they might be bad for the liver too. Antibiotics that were always prescribed to me are either Azithromycin and Ciprofloxacin which are both strong classes of drugs. I will only succumb to these drugs when natural remedies can no longer fight the infections within, but as long as it can, I will use natural remedies as well as my own body to fight foreign invaders inside me.

So back to bed I go for more sleep. 

Pulling up the numbers - Making your CD4 count higher

My latest CD4 count as of January 2012 was 589, it was 294 points up from my previous count, almost 300 points increase. I did change a bit of my lifestyle, and I am willing to do more better changes. Here are the usual things I did on the 6 months I was battling to gain back the normalcy of my immune system. So therefore, here are my tips:

1. Don't stress - Stress is the biggest factor of why the CD4 count drops significantly low. 
2. Eat well - This is subjective based on one's needs. Do eat well and in moderation, make sure you get enough nutrients in whatever you put in your mouth. 
3. Sleep - Sleep well and get lots of it. 
4. Listen and feel the body - Those aches and pains are signs that something is wrong. Do something  to alleviate it and investigate the cause. Do not over work your body, it has its limitations, you may want to push it to the limit or beyond, but it can only perform so much. 
5. Relax - As much as you want, whenever. 
6. Get the rage out - Keeping your rage in, may cause you to be stressed out. I express myself by listening to loud music or just tweeting away some thoughts. 
7. Walk - It's just healthy and simple. 
8. Keep yourself busy - Learn a new hobby, read, write, day dream.
9. Have alone time - Being alone will get you to know yourself more, and you will also know what your body needs and what your soul desires. 
10. Smile.

Note: My ARV cocktail - Lamivudine/Zidovudine, Efavirenz

Normal

04-00-2010: 526

12-16-2010: 385

06-09-2011: 295

01-05-2012: 589

The numbers in blue are my CD4 count for the past two years since I was diagnosed with HIV last April of 2010. It has been on a steep decline from April to December then slowed down on June, but still it went down. A healthy and normal CD4 count is between 500 - 1500. 

It was a very long wait earlier at the hospital (San Lazaro Hospital) because I woke up late (around 5:30 AM), and I arrived there at around 8:30 AM and I was already the 62nd patient! There were such a huge number of new patients there that I barely know anyone. Good thing that some of my "batch mates" arrived a few minutes later and some a few hours later. Those batch mates of mine were diagnosed at the same year I was, we are given codes, like student numbers, which we will know what year a person was diagnosed. I very good friend of mine accompanied me to the hospital all that time which I really appreciated because he was asked if he was "one of us" too. Fortunately, he isn't. Me, my friend, and my batch mates spent time to the nearby Day Care Center inside the hospital compound where we spent hours chatting with other patients and  social workers, we had a few good laughs, which was one thing that I always look forward whenever I am going to visit the H4 Ward. The laughter, the fun, the socializing, and all that buzz and "bubbliness" of the other patients is what I always miss in H4 Ward, and what I always look forward to. Socializing amidst the stress and boredom of the long wait until our name is called for our turn to see the doctor is always a key for us not to be so crazy and dead bored inside the SLH compound. A patient can wait for the whole day if he listed his name late, like what I did earlier. There was a mass held in the H4 Ward - Clinic, yes, we now have a separate air-conditioned clinic from the ward; so everything has to be cut and stopped. The priests and very handsome seminarians from the St. Camillus Seminary came to celebrate mass. Operations in the clinic resumed at around 4:30 PM, right after the mass. My doctor told me that most of her patients today who came for their CD4 test, got an increased result. That's why despite of her tending to more than a hundred patients that day, I can see that she's happy. Most of the patients earlier came for their CD4 test results anyway, only a handful were there for a health check-up. 

I was on my way home at sundown with a smile on my face. After a very long time... I am now, walking, normally.

Thank you so much to everyone who included me in their prayers. Thank you, God.

HIV & drug induced depression (Efavirenz side effects)

Last Friday the 20th of January, was just like any normal day for me. Until early morning came and I felt something weird. I felt sad, deeply sad,I felt like I was absorbing everyone's sadness around me, yet, I have no single reason to be sad about. It got worse hour after hour, until I almost bursted into tears at my workstation for no apparent reason. I twitted the moments I felt like that, and many responded, thank you so much.

It was one of the more serious side-effects of Efavirenz, it is one of my medicines to manage HIV. I talked to a fellow PLHIV and he said that it is normal, and I have to live with it. More online research was made, and I found out that either I live with the depression or I have to switch meds, which I don't want to anymore. I already changed cocktails twice. The usual dizziness I usually feel from the evening, went on until the next day, plus the depression went worse, I felt like I was exploding in extreme sadness, it was unexplainable,  and overwhelming.

I have been taking Efavirenz for almost 6 months, some side-effects take even years before it will manifest, so I am yet to encounter more. I am preparing myself, mentally, and emotionally, for most of the serious side-effects are psychiatric, while the physiological side-effects involves the usual liver damage which can be treated with another type of drug, the other side-effects involves some other physically changing effects. The worse side-effect of all I think, is the "suicidal thoughts" side effect, probably due to extreme depression caused by the drug. I have read a lot of warning and fact sheets online, and they all warn about the same thing.

So as I turn a "sophomore" into this new life of mine; this coming April, the more I need to prepare. I have been infected with a bacterial URTI a few weeks ago and the antibiotic prescribed was stronger than when I had Pneumonia last 2010 and early 2011. Insomnia has been lingering around with me lately, and exhaustion.

I don't live in a bubble and part of it all is exposing myself to a lot of life-threatening bacteria and viruses plus everyday stress. Ironically, the medicines that keep me alive, might kill me too.

Thank you to my twitter friends and physical world friends who responded to my tweets. I deeply appreciate all the encouragement. 

Broken Wings

It's another Thursday for my check-up in the H4 Ward. Today, I was with Fred, an ex of mine who is also infected. Both of us arrived early knowing that it could be pretty crowded every Thursdays, however, despite of us being very early, we end up being the 13th and the 14th in the line. The morning was usual, after lining up, we went to the nearest fastfood and had breakfast then went back. Fred wasn't feeling well when we got there, his tummy has been in pain since he woke up and the medicines he had with him almost didn't help. After a few hours, my code and alias was finally called, it was my turn. The doctor checked my list of vital signs for the day which was all normal and asked a few questions regarding how I am adjusting with my new medicine. I said I am still experiencing fatigue and dizziness most of the time, but each time is becoming more tolerable. The doctor gave me a list of blood chem to do, so I'll be back there again. I forgot to check on how much medicines I have left, tsk. Better be back next Thursday to get my supply.

It was Fred's turn after me, same doctor. He was there for a check-up and to find out his CD4 result, and of course, to have his tummy checked. Patients are already pouring in the doctor's office and Fred's check-up was taking a while so I decided to go out.

I bumped into the Female OFW that I blogged about two entries ago; she lost her baby during birth. I asked how is she, she's still in shock, but staying strong. She said that she was discharged just in time to be at home for her eldest's 8th birthday. She can walk normally now, and she looks stronger. She may have lost her baby, but she regained her life back, somehow. I left her for a while to check who are still in the ward and came back to her with questions. What happened to Topher (Wiggly 3) and Sonny (Wiggly 1). She said that Topher's mom wanted his son to be transferred to a different hospital because Topher's condition is not getting any better and is having a hard time sleeping at night. Sonny was transferred to RITM for some reason, he developed several infections. The last time I saw Sonny, he was almost just skin and bones; that time the father said to me that he wouldn't want to eat anymore and is getting weaker and weaker.

I may not know Sonny personally nor I was close to his family and I never have spoken to him. He was the first one who was at the bed at my right when I was confined. For a few days I saw how he struggled, I saw how he cried in pain, I saw how he endured every high fever attacks he had every single night. I saw how sad he was, I saw pain through his eyes in the rare moments our eyes would cross. I saw how his father would wipe and clean up his frail body everyday and how his mom would embrace him when he is having chills at night. I saw how he fought and how his parents stood by him, yet he lost the battle. Sonny died after a few days of being transferred to RITM. It's very heart breaking for me to know that he had moved on, he was only in his early twenties, and I just saw him alive 2 weeks ago.

Fred sent me a text message while I was waiting at the Ward's lobby... He said that his CD4 count is now at 97. I was shocked by the news. I was so in shock that I didn't know what to reply. The gloomy day just became gloomier and gloomier. It's a fact that anyone with a CD4 count of below 200 with one or several opportunistic infections will be diagnosed as someone with an HIV Clinical Stage 4, or someone with AIDS. I am so sad with the news, I almost couldn't bare all the heart breaking stories I found out this morning. Fred's tummy is still under observation and he has a long list of lab work to be done, and some medicines to relieve the pain.

Now that someone very close and dear to me is going to a battle of his own. I want to be there for him.

Fred, you will never be alone in your battle. I will always be here for you, we will fight this dreaded condition together, and we will not only survive, but we will live. So hold on, and we will move forward and fight.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4