Thursday, January 5, 2012


Thursday January 5, 8:19 PM, 2012. Sitting on my bed with Chungking Express playing in the background. Lights are out, and feeling the cool breeze coming from outside. Smell of cigarettes fills the air. No, it wasn't me, it was someone else who's smoking. At this very moment, Fred is enjoying the second DVD being played in the entertainment system he is just now enjoying. We assembled this entertainment system together four years ago, it took that long before he's able to enjoy it. We watched Happy Together by Wong Kar Wai earlier, now I am making him watch Chungking Express as I left the rice cooking. I can smell the rice now, it is making me hungry more and more as I type these words. I have the roasted ribs ready to be heated up sitting on my work table, Angel cooked it for me for New Year's eve. Fred doesn't want to eat, not because it was Angel's cooking, but he just doesn't eat pork, that's all.

Fred just had a break-up,  and he needs someone to be with him right now. This is what's good between us, we're friends, we are comfortable to be with each other without any malice or anything, I guess this is what happens when wounds heal after break-ups. In our story, I was the one who broke-up and gave-up. It has been four years since that day, time does heal wounds, not even scars are apparent and felt between the two of us, we are like just two old friends. I am making Fred watch these movies so he can somehow find different perspectives on relationships and why they don't work out the way we want them to. I do hope that after this movie, he will feel better about himself. 

Me and Fred had been a couple for 10 months back in 2008, I broke-up with him in December of that same year. We had our moments, we had our terrible moments, but I don't actually remember much memories about the two of us or the things we did together unless we talk about it. Whenever we are together now, we have the "oh yeah, I did that?" line or "Of course I should know I'm your ex" or the "I know you" lines. It feels good because we are just like two kids talking about our childhood memories. Unlike Angel, whenever we (angel and I) talk about our past, it feels like a kid talking to a parent, well he really acted like my parent when I was growing up back when we were together. 

It is not easy to be friends with people from our past that have tainted us in some way. No matter how we reach out to them or no matter how we distance ourselves from them, there are ways that they will either reach out to us or we stumble upon a memory of them. Distance helps, time helps, we can be friends with them again, but perhaps not now and not anytime soon. It may take weeks, months, or years; but it will definitely heal the wounds. 

Time is needed for any wound to heal, whether it is a physical wound or a wound caused by a broken heart. 

We must step back, way back, and let ourselves and you as well as that person heal. Perhaps one day, the two of you will bump into each other and greet each other happily. Until wounds are closed, one must not force himself into the other one's life. 

One will know he has moved on when he sees the past and a faint smile is worn on one's face, and no hurt is felt even from the faintest heart beat. 


  1. Good for you, I have no memories of ever normalizing my ties with my 2 ex-bfs nor I do plan of doing so in the future.

  2. true..with the right time everything will be ok...may mga ex pa ko na I feel awkward being with them,or maybe it depends sa situation or cause ng breakup cguro.

  3. I had experienced love and pain, the two are sisters in crime. It is easy to love and so as well the pain. But loving is always the best in the world. Keep Loving Canonista.

  4. I love Wong Kar-Wai. All time fave ko ang In the Mood For Love, Chung King Express tsaka Happy Together. I actually find it slightly coincidental that you and Fred watched Happy Together. It sort of fits your situation altogether.

  5. this post is my most favorite... it's true!
    ~ jullian ~