Looking back and moving forward

The last day of 2011.

A lot have happened, I broke up with my boyfriend, I gained a lot of weight, I was confined in San Lazaro Hospital, Fred moved to AIDS stage, I had self-esteem issues, most of the people I know and who are close to me had their own bouts and episodes of painfully heart breaking break-ups. Despite of all the challenging events, there are also a lot of things that I have to be thankful for and which have opened my eyes and heart...

I realized that death is a catalyst to make our lives better and to move forward and dream more. The more we know that we are like any other impermanent thing in this universe, the more we can do something to live life and be alive.

I've met new people online and have moved on to becoming friends with them; some did make an impact on me, and I would like to say my thanks to the new people in my life who make me happy. You will never be forgotten. Moja-Moja, we are fighting the same battle with our condition and you have your own battle to conquer, thank you for being such an entertainer in any manner possible, move-on and move forward, take care of your health. @_poyee , thank you for letting me in, I may be the occasional jerk, but believe me, you make me happy, you reminded me of myself during my days of young; go forth and reach that dream, do not let anyone be a hinder on what you want to become someday. You will be what you to be.

I have met a lot of new twitter friends too, despite of them being the online friends, I greatly appreciate their presence specially during my "episodal" tweets. Thank you for making me smile and for all the down-dirty-sex maniac discussions we have and the many we will have.

To my PLHIV friends, we will be alive, we will be well. I have already met some of you, and may we have so many years of happiness and good health together.

To Mugen, you have indeed proven that real friendship crosses the boarders of physical presence, time, and space for it to exist. We barely saw each other, as in barely, but that only made our friendship grow stronger, proving the norms wrong. Thank you for the time and great effort, specially the unconventional friendship we have flourished through the years. Cheers!

Raztanizta, Pedro, and the my ever maniac straight friend the Head Chopper of kingdom Cum; thank you for the friendship and to our musical adventures, you guys are all I want for a dream boy (Paging Pedro). As during one of our sessions where you forced me to stay up all night... We came up with the following:

"Minsan ka lang makakakita ng taong makakasundo mo, isasaalangalang mo pa ba ang pagkakaibigan niyo?"

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero para siyang kumpleto".

Para sa inyo ito... ito ang tinapos kong tulang ginawa nating tatlo nung gabing hindi niyo ako pinatulog ng maayos!

-Bigla na lang-

Iba't ibang sekswalidad
Iba't ibang personalidad
Isang lalakeng ladlad
Isang lalakeng sa tattoo ay tadtad
Isang babaeng baliktad

Mga palaging biktima ng mga biglaang lakad.
At kung saan saan napapadpad.

Tila mga utak ay kay tataas ng lipad
Kadalasan nama'y mga katawa'y susuray-suray,
sa tindahan, sa daan, sa gate, sa sala, sa kusina,
sa banyo, sa sofa, sa Northpark…
Sa mga kotse ng mga kaibigang…
hindi maalala kung sinu at anu ang pangalan,
minsan pa ay akalang taxi drayber.

Tatlong pagkatao
Tatlong hindi talo-talo
Na hindi patatalo
Sa anu mang pagsubok ng mundo
Tuloy ang buhay.

To PJ, it has been more than a decade, no word or phrases can describe our friendship nor just you and how I am thankful we have endured so many years of so many dramas and whatever. You are indeed a true treasure I will forever keep deep inside my heart and across my very existence.

To Aubrey, you are the platonic girl friend I always and will ever have. I love you!

Xhan, thank you for staying and for being a friend. Hindi man naging totoo ang akala kong magiging akin, naging atin naman and pagkakaibigang totoo. Andito lang ako.

To all the people who were at my side during my times of dismay, and to the unmentioned names which are so many to mention. Thank you so much, may we have many years more to share , endure, and be happy with. We will move forward. Onward to our dreams!

To the readers of the Bohemian Diary, thank you from the deepest depth of my heart for reading the story of my life. There are still and will be more stories to tell, and I hope you will never get tired of visiting and reading my blog. Thank you for the kind words, occasional violent reactions, and cheering up. I will continue to write as the Supernova shares its light to the world.

To my dad, you may not know the existence of this blog. However, I want the world to know that I am truly blessed to have such an understanding, supportive and accepting father. You are a warrior of God, and I am just a boy,  a son... Wanting his father to to be at his side, hold his hand, and say everything will be alright. You did.

Angel, the man behind the boy of the Bohemian Diary, you are forever etched in my soul, you are who I am. We have proven that true love do exist after romance, and true love never dies whatever form it may have and may be. You are my home, and I will forever be your boy.

Treasure the people who were at your bed side when you were sick. Those are the ones who care & will be with you 'till your last breath.