Thursday, December 8, 2011

Detachment, Endeavor, Discipline

Now at age 29, the writer behind the Bohemian Diary is doing a lifestyle overhaul. Detachment, is one word he has been uttering himself for weeks. Detaching himself from worldly pleasures he is used to; he is now going bare and back to basics. His nude picture that he posted on his birthday is a testament of shedding out his old skin and adapting a new one. His endeavor will be full of challenges, considering his old lazy and procrastinating self is being turned around and will bare a new leaf.

Endeavor, meat no more.

Today is Canonista's day 1 of becoming a vegetarian. Back in the mid 2000s he was one and did not have any difficulty becoming one. It only happened that he stumbled upon a few roadblocks on his thesis making days and got so stressed out that when he saw a roasted rib of pork, he stared at it in amazement and to some universal miracle it spoke back to him, saying... "eat me". So he did, and his vegetarian days were over. Looking back during those days of eating nothing but plants, there was a certain lightness, aside from that he only weighted 129lbs, he was energetic, never got sick a single day and was very physically strong. Today, he is morbidly overweight with a self-esteem down on the ground. He now targets to have a weight of 126lbs, 3 lbs lighter when he first went vegan; that will be his thinnest ever and lightest he will ever be.

Becoming a vegetarian at his current condition will be a challenging one. He must make sure that he still gets all the nutrients he needs, taking into consideration he is not taking vitamin pills and the stress levels he usually get from work. His food intake must not be only nutritious, but also filling enough to get through the day. Another challenge is that he will and must not succumb to external factors such as peers gnarling voraciously at the cooked corpses of animals made into different forms and tastes.

This has a long overdue plan and must materialize and therefore be instilled not only in his lifestyle, but also in his mind and heart.

Vegetarianism is healthy, but not limiting himself to not eating dairy; it does not involve killing animals in the process anyway, it has so many benefits aside from losing weight, but also gaining a fitter and stronger  body.

Tarot card reading.

One fine day, along the way from his exhaustive training day from work. Canonista decided to get off the train and hop out at the Cubao station and fill his need to buy books. He found himself browsing the wide selection of books Powerbooks have. He found himself at the New Age section of the bookstore  and found a Sandman box. It said "in celebration of" on it and he was curious what it was all about so he read more of what was said on the box; he then found out that it was a tarot card deck made in celebration of the Vertigo comics' 20th anniversary. He had never read any of Vertigo's comics and was only familiar with the Sandman character. However, his fascination with that character was more of an art appreciation rather than of the story. He then bought the deck of cards with his belief that it can be a tool to what the universe has to say about his life and his future and other people's future once he has acquired the skills in reading the cards. Canonista has always been a firm believer that we are all interconnected in this vast universe in one way or another and we are also connected with it, that we are not mere small beings in its vastness, but rather a significant and part of its life. After paying at the cashier, he then hurried home, reaching his condo unit before the sun sets for that day.

He skipped reviewing for the next day's quiz but rather read the book that accompanied the tarot card deck, and was awestruck on the cards' artworks. They are not the traditional tarot card deck he thought, and it would take a bizarre mind to interpret. Quite fitting for someone whose imagination only ceases to stop when he is asleep; Canonista thought that these cards are the right cards for him, as bizarre as himself and as abstract as his mind.

After a few hours of reading the book, he then made his first reading using the 3 card spread. Unskillfully, he shuffled and draw cards. A few days after that, he bought another book at the same bookstore where he bought his tarot deck, he purchased a Tarot Bible, he made a reading that same night using the Learning Spread. This time, he is now more convinced and was a little shocked at what power the cards have or rather the impact on his mind it had. The tarot is merely a reflection of the reader's mind, so every reading is subjective rather than objective, just like when someone is looking at an abstract painting, the reader interpret's the cards on a particular layout based on his what the cards mean and on his own personal interpretation, how to weave the cards' connection to one another is also based on the reader's psychological state. Canonista has then have a better insight on himself as well as awareness.

A few minutes ago, while he was writing this article for his blog, midway, he had an urge to do a reading. He used the Gypsy Spread which is a more elaborate layout. It had a past, present and future content as most spreads have, but this one covers more aspects of one's life. He was more interested in the future, but then he understood more about the layout and so he went through each card and on every phase of life (past, present, future) and read it up using the accompanying book as well as what was written in the Tarot Bible. He then thought that the cards are also a way to put a sense of direction in his life, but not dictate where he needs to go. Before doing the reading, he looked up a few articles regarding the zodiac outlook for him in 2012, he was not contented so he asked the cards. Uncannily, the cards seem to give him somewhat the same message of what the zodiac outlook gave him.

The Gypsy Spread and the cards he draw for his reading.

Ace of Swords (focused on lower left): Cutting through Illusion, Realizing the way forward, courage, thinking things through very clearly, facing conflict or pain honestly.
Wheel of Fortune (middle right): Change of circumstances; events taking place of their own accord, without conscious control. There is no certainty in life except uncertainty, synchronicity and coincidence, the only constancy is change itself.

The Fool: The eternal optimist, ready to leap into anything, going on a personal quest, pure and uncorrupt.  Wildness, taking risks, some kind of leap of faith, following your own path.

Some of the cards of the Vertigo Deck.


Is what Canonista lacks in most aspects of his life, thus now is the time to have it, instill and do. He may have so many ideas and goals, but none will materialize if he lacks the discipline to put everything he wants in order and in bright and better perspective.

As he looks forward to the new year, embracing change and leaving luggage behind this year. He strives to be a better person.

The Hermit.

In relation to the detachment from meat, Canonista will also or has already been detaching himself not only to eating meat, but also to other forms of media. He believes that the less one know, the less one will stress about life, but then again, knowledge is power; contradicting to that belief of his. However, to defend that, cutting his cable TV puts him more at peace with himself and with his world, knowing so little of such political wars and other news puts himself in a state of naivety. Which is what he has been wanting, not engorging on such topics that he sees unworthy of his time and emotions, being the "kiddie-heart" that he is. This move, is more of an escape rather than a social development for him.

Escaping the world into his own reality to face it with sanity.


  1. How amazing to find this kind of post in which triggers the spirit of taking good care of ourselves. I had added you at my page. ;)

    You are such an inspiration to anyone who's life they thought is unworthy. But life is the sweetest gift that everyone received from God.

    You are such an inspiration to me.. Can I have your email address please? Reply to my page. Thanks...

  2. napakatalas ng iyong kaalaman sa lahat ng bagay aking payo lamang unahin mo basahin ang bible at magsimba dahil sa aking pananaw mas matutulungan kang gumaling ng panginoon kaysa ng tarrot card mo .

  3. @Anonymous: Hindi ko ginagamit ang tarot para gumaling sa HIV o sa condition kong ito. Tungkol naman sa kaalaman, hindi ito nasusukat sa paanong paraan. Bibliya at pagsimba, nagbabasa ako ng bibliya para madagdagan ang kaalaman ko; pero hindi ko kailangan magsimba, dahil iba ang aking paniniwala. Salamat.

  4. mabuti sa iyong kaalaman canonista. pero mas naniniwala ka dyan kaysa magdasal un ang sabi ko di ko sinabe para gumaling ka . ang akin lamang mas lamang dapat ang paniniwala mo upang gumaling ka . aking opinyon ito siguro mas madaming paraan at dapat pagkaabalahan upang maging kapakipakinabang sa stado mo. paumanhin para sa aking pag kakaunawa masyadong malungkot ang buhay mo may buhay para maging masaya . parang sa pag kakaunawa ko sa iyong blog eh masalimuot ang buhay mo siguro dapat mo na simulan ang pagbabago dahil baka mamaya puro sulat lang walang gawa . kung baga pakitang tao. matalino ka minsan di naman dapat maging malungkot at maging emo subukan mo masayang blog naman magaling ka pag nakakabasa ako masaya sa blog dun ako humahanga sayu pero pag malungkot at emo na dating parang scripted na sayang ang kakayahan mo. wag mo gawan ng istorya ano nararamdaman ng puso mo at ano ang katotohanan un ang ilathala mo. kalma ka lang bro magaling ka pero pilit minsan kasi parang sa ibang nababasa ko sa istorya mo may patern na muvi o kung ano mang kanta. maligayang pagbati sa isang katulad mo na ibinabahagi ang kaalaman.