Monday, April 26, 2010

So far...

It's Monday night, warm and humid. Jazz music in the background and here I am sitting in front of my big LCD TV, trying to composed my thoughts and to write things down for my blog. Last week was like an emotional roller coaster for me. It has been exactly a week since I was diagnosed. I was very brave on the first day, the second day... I was brave enough to tell it to my close friends, friends that I really know I can trust and who cares. The third day was the breakdown, I stayed in my friend's place for the night, 'coz I just don't want to be lonely.... that was my loneliest day.

When I got back to work on Thursday night, I was completely okay, being able to cry out and telling everything to John was a great help. John broke down, us being friends for more than a decade now, and how we watched each other grow... it was a shock and it was much more difficult for him to accept my condition. We have so much dreams together and we watched as each of us slowly made our dreams come true. Now that I have this condition, he is afraid that some of our dreams might not come true at all. I told him they will, I will live long enough to make my dreams and our dreams come true.

Last night (Sunday), was an awesome day for me. I am currently dating a very cute guy from work, and he spent the night here yesterday. He doesn't know about my condition yet, I was about to tell him last night, but I stopped myself, thinking that him knowing my condition could hamper our dating progress. I am still assessing his knowledge of the virus and educate him if needed, so I did some sort of introductory chat about the virus. He's cute, he is a movie buff and I was surprised on how much we have in common. We both are addicted to JPOP, movies, and anime. At first, all I thought about him was his beautiful face that was it, I was wrong. We do have things in common and I realized how sweet he is and how much we agree on many things. I hope everything goes well, I hope he can accept me and my condition.

Tomorrow I will be going to San Lazaro again for my lab test. It's 20 minutes before midnight so I have prepared a cup of instant noodles, I have to eat before then.


  1. wouldnt he get infected with the virus too, if you have sex with him? i only assume that, perhaps in the heat of the moment, he may wanna go down on you..and you might release some fluid down there..anyway, i hope that you'll be fine..GOD bless..

  2. It's safe not unless he has wounds in his mouth. Wearing rubber during penetration is also safe.