Pulses: A play inspired by people living with HIV

Yesterday, I went (alone) to UP Diliman to watch a play that was told to me by a friend. That play was my first "independent" play to have watched since my highschool days where the last theatrical play that I get to watch was El Filibusterismo. So it has been such a long time since I watched one. This play was titled Pulses, and is a thesis for a group of graduating UP students. Even though this particular play is a student production; acting was exceptional.

Props were bare, but very smartly used. Music was melancholic, and it gave me goose-bumps. What made this play exceptional was the skills of the actors and how each one gave vivid life to the characters they portrayed. Some were funny, some were shockingly liberated, some were mild yet melancholic. All, were great, and everyone will surely be able to relate to a certain character; they may be gay or straight, a cross-dresser, or a straight couple who is so much in love, a prostitute, an OFW, a lonely gay guy living alone, or a young family. 

This was a play about the lives of people living with HIV, from all walks of life. Of how we live, and the things we go through, from the first day of diagnosis, progressing to the point where we have moved on. Personally, this play was not easy for me to watch at all. I thought it was going to be just okay, that it will be just a breeze, that I am just going to sit there and enjoy the production; just like when I watch Rent repeatedly. However, this one was different, basically because I... First-handedly experienced most of the scenes and stories portrayed in the play. I have witnessed and I know people going through or have gone through the exact same situations that the characters in this play had. As the emotional person that I am, and being able to absorb easily what is going on around me, I got drifted into the story, very easily. That said, tears gently poured out from my eyes just within the first few minutes of the play. I did my best to keep them in, but the scenes were all just too relatable, although not painful anymore; the memories and the emotions of way back just bursted in me. There were some scenes that were just all too familiar, very much familiar, that I felt transported to the exact same moment, that I can't stop but to just let it all out; I cried but not in sadness, but in memory of it. I had to stop myself from shaking and crying because the people beside me were already looking at me. I may sound exaggerating, but I just can't help it, it's different when someone (like me) experienced the same situation being portrayed.

The play is a great tool to open the eyes and hearts of many and give them an insight of what people living with the virus goes through and the people affected by it; like our parents, siblings, friends, lovers, acquaintances, counselors, doctors, the people we work with and who we are with at most times. It gave faces and form to what we don't see and to what we do not want to see with regards to the virus, that not only infects our bodies but influences our minds, and proper knowledge is one tool to fight it.

Pulses is a moving, powerful, and heart breaking play that opens our eyes to the hidden realities of the life changing effects of HIV.

"We are more than what our bodies make us to be" - Pulses

4:59 A.M. April 05, 2011 Tuesday

Yesterday, after reading several blogs, browsing photographs and reading stories about Humanitarian Photography. My passion to reach out and give back to society is further fueled. Even back when I was still in college, I have been wanting to somehow give back what I can to society. Back then, I would volunteer to teach for free to computer illiterate adults and teenagers in the towns surrounding our school. The most fulfilling moment at that time when this mother approached me and said how much she appreciates my time and effort in teaching parents like her, her kids wouldn't help her learn the basics on how to use a computer, but I did. I usually taught a class of 15 to 20 heads per session, I did this in between classes because I had a 2 hour gap from one subject to the next one. When my friends go to the mall and hangout, I chose to teach in whatever subject I can, that time was about computers because I was a Computer Science major. It was a small thing compared to what a lot of dedicated individuals do for their cause and advocacy, but it was a small step to touching the lives of others and helping the illiterate become skilled individuals, or simply, how to use a computer and to do productive things on it.

Now that I have something to use as a tool to reach out and show the world, my craft, photography... Will be the catalyst for reaching out. Reaching to those who are in need, to see their lives, to see their happiness in spite of their struggles. For me to let those who can help, help them lead better lives. By showing them the beauty and the brokenness of the hearts and lives of those in need. I am not visioning this endeavor to someday become famous or to profit from it, no. Simply because it has a personal impact on me. I witnessed and experienced poverty first hand. Now that I have something to give, I want to help those living in poverty, to be helped at, to be heard, to be seen, to dream, and to fulfill those dreams.

When I was diagnosed with HIV, and finally came out from a short stage of depression. I wanted to reach out to other newly diagnosed individuals, that this condition is not a death sentence, but a new lease on life. During my first few trips to San Lazaro hospital, I saw in their cramped rooms in the H4 ward, dark faces and fragile souls. I saw how heartbreaking the final stages of AIDS were. I saw people in beds so fragile and thin, it's like their soul was taken out from them. I cannot bare to look at them in the eye. As my visits to the hospital became regular, the sight of the sickly people became normal to me. I wanted to talk to them, I wanted to reach out. I want to hear their voices and their stories, the battles they fought through the stages of this condition. I know that someday I will be in one of those beds, so while I am this strong now, I want to hear the stories and share them to the rest of the world. For the uninfected to understand,  and see what we are going through, most of all, that many of my co-infected are living in poverty, that they have no access to medicines; because not all medicines for people living with HIV/AIDS are free. I want the world and  the people of our country to know that they need help, and we need prevention.

Storytelling through photography will be my medium for my vision.