Virgin Heart

Innocence of youth
Not until we learn the truth
(Love dies)
Painfully, slowly

A.N.A.L. (A Nostalgic Affair, Lost)

We used to make love on that sofabed
I loved to touch your chest, and on it I lay my head
We have good memories together, but instead
I'm getting rid of them in my head

I miss your place
I miss your face
I miss touching your skin
I miss kissing you as you grin

*Were the radio waves of my heart able to reach you?
It’s broadcasting from the Heart Station of sinners
And only God knows
How much I miss you.

We used to smoke a lot together
Marlboro Black, specially in rainy weather
I used to cuddle you a lot
Now all I have is an empty spot...

In my heart, that now...
Beats only for one.

I miss you.

*Heart Station by Utada Hikaru



Posted on Flickr: November 2009

The memory of an almost perfect summer

I can still taste your lips
and feel your hands on my skin.
I was ecstatic whenever I was with you.
How I loved the way you embraced me tightly.
And see your eyes sparkle, ever so brightly.

I slept on your huge bed.
How I loved it, whenever you held my head.
Close to your chest.
I felt you breathe
Giving stiff life underneath.

I felt every drop of your sweat,
on my goose-bumped skin.
As you mount yourself (in) on me,
I tasted every inch of your skin.

Making sounds with your every thrust,
as our heads were engulfed with lust.
I gripped your strong thighs towards me,
Letting you know how much I wanted every inch of you.

All of you...
In me.

You filled me in
With your precious love
I squeezed every drop
Funny, that you never said stop.

Every moment was a bliss.
I cherished your every kiss.
I haven't seen it (you) coming,
until you said...

"It was nothing."


Posted on Facebook: Monday, March 22, 2010 at 4:28pm

Marlboro Black

Sa bawat piraso ng yosi na aking nauubos.
Sa bawat patak ng abo nito,
hiling ko'y yun na rin ang katapusan...
ng mga alaala mo.
Sana'y ganun kadali, parang sigarilyo,
na kapag ayaw ko na ang init nito...
Ay titigil na ako sa aking diliryo.
Sa pagtitig sa nawawalang baga,
sa pagtitig sa bawat namamatay na sindi,
hanggang sa kahuli-hulihang usok...
Animo'y ikaw, na sana'y maglaho.

Tulad ng sigarilyo
Alam kong masama ito.
Tulad ng sigarilyo
Alam kong ikamamatay ko.
Tulad ng nakalalasong usok sa bawat hithit.
Sa aking dugo, ikaw ay nananalantay,
unti-unti akong...
Pinapatay.


Posted on Facebook: Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 6:37pm

Upos

Sa usok ng sigarilo'y pinapatay ko ang sarili ko.
Sana'y kaya rin nitong patayin, ang alaala mo.
Ikaw, na alaala ng isang masayang tag-araw,
at malamig na tag-ulan.
Na siyang naging dahilan ng pusong duguan,
at buhay na luhaan.
Ikaw, na siyang naging ilaw sa isang sandali,
at kadiliman na hindi maihawi.


Posted on Facebook: Thursday, March 18, 2010 at 6:28pm

Sickle

Twenty three waking hours
An hour short from a day
Episodal maniac, at play
Writing words to his dismay

Screaming tunes, too loud
Alone and proud
Lingering in a dark cloud
Of puffy smoke and cold coke

Playing along the thoughts
Now, engulfing alcoholic streams
While reminiscing shattered dreams
Of possessive schemes

Then, was a boy
Needy, was a joy
Love was a bloody toy
Hope was his to destroy

Moments like such
Swallowing him too much
Holding the angry crutch
Death comes at a touch


Posted on Facebook: Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 4:35pm

The continuation of the end.

Disappear
Reappear

Cheer
Disappear

Beer
Appear

Fear
Is dear

Blind
Mind

Heart
Apart

Knife
Strife

End.

Life.


Posted on Facebook: Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 3:53pm

Cemetery

No matter how deep I dig a grave.
To bury what was left.
Its vines kept creeping on me.
...entangling itself
....to my weak
and fragile mind.
As I embrace the headstone, of infinite goodbyes.


Posted on Facebook: Sunday, March 7, 2010 at 3:42pm

Pag-asa, surpresa, at serbesa

Naghihintay sa iyong pagdating
Gusto na kitang makapiling
Hawak ang isang sorpresa
Kasama ng isang boteng serbesa.

Darating ka pa ba?
Dibdib ko ay puno ng kaba
Pintuan ay di na bumukas
Mga yapak mo ay sa isip kumukupas

Maghihintay ako.
Hanggang mabulok ang mga bulaklak
Sa aking nanlalamig na kamao
Hanggang sa lamunin ako ng iyak
Ng serbesang aking hawak

Sa bawat paglunok,
ng serbesang sa bibig ko nakatutok
Ay siyang pagkagunaw
ng pag-asang sa iyo nakapukaw.


Written on: 11/04/09 01:36 PM
Posted on Facebook: Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 9:38am

Dasal

Halika
Hawakan mo ang kamay ko
Mula sa pusong nagdadasal ng taimtim
Dinggin ang aking panalangin


Written on: 11/04/09 01:35 PM
Posted on Facebook: Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 9:37am

Nobyembre, lamig ng tanghaling tapat.

Tanghaling tapat
Sigarilyo'y hindi pa sapat
Para maibsan ang pagkabaliw
Ng taong itong, tila walang aliw.

Nakahubad at nakaupo
Kasarapa'y sumusubo
Ng pang-ilang sigarilyong
Isinusuka na naman niya.

Usok na lumalamon
Sa mga alaalang itinatapon
Sa kawalan ng kadiliman
Nang hindi na kailanman, masisilayan.

Lamig ng tanghaling tapat
Sana'y maging sapat
Na ang aking katawa'y sa kama ilapat.
Tulog, panandaliang katotohanan

Isang mundong parang langit...
Na akin lamang.


Written on: 11/04/09 11:31 AM
Posted on Facebook: Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 9:36am

Nakabuo sa wala

May mga ilang salitang lumutang sa utak ko.
Pero kahit isa, hindi ko mailabas at makabuo
...ng kahit ano para makatulog na ako.
Mahirap maging ganito
Nauulol at natatarantado
Sa sariling mundo.


Written on: 11/04/09 11:19 AM
Posted on Facebook: Sunday, January 10, 2010 at 9:35am

My TOP 25 Most Played songs in iTunes (2009)

New Perspective - Panic at the disco
Think of You - Taj Jackson
For The Record - Mariah Carey
Kazamidori - Maaya Sakamoto
Beautiful World - Utada Hikaru
What A Catch, Donnie - Fall Out Boy
HEART STATION - Utada Hikaru
kazami-dori - Depapepe
Sweet And Low - Augustana
Y.O.U. - Avant
Doing Too Much -
Bullets - Augustana
On And On - Utada
Collide - Howie Day
Apple And Cinnamon - Utada Hikaru
Light up the Sky - Yellowcard
This One (Crying Like A Child) - Utada Hikaru
Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade
melt away - Mariah Carey
sugar we're going down - Fall Out Boy
Smash Into You - Beyoncé
Movin' On - Elliott Yamin
Make You Feel My Love - Adele
Go On Girl - Ne-Yo
More than a love song - Augustana


Posted on Facebook: Monday, October 26, 2009 at 12:59pm

P.S. Of course I have posted something like this after this one, posted January 24, 2011. The top played songs changed again, check them here.

10 songs and cigarette sticks

Ten songs I chose to listen to
Ten songs to ease the distance of two
Longing for something I may not have
My heart bleeds and is broken in half

Cigarette sticks I need as a breathe
To carry on this pain I have underneath
This sad and dark journey I have to undertake
Hopefully will end soon before I break

Cigarette sticks and these songs
Help me see and undo all these wrongs
Cigarette sticks and these songs
Help me pass this week fast and show me where one belongs

1.) "Whatever it takes" - Lifehouse
2.) "The trouble with me" - Skin
3.) "Lost" - Skin
4.) "Burnt like you" - Skin
5.) "It's not over" - Secondhand Serenade
6.)"Your call" - Secondhand Serenade
7.)"Stay close, don't go" - Secondhand Serenade
8.) "Apple and cinnamon" - Utada
9.)"Heart Station" - Utada
10.) "Stay" - Lisa Loeb

...and a hell lot of cigarettes to help me pass by the coming week.


Posted on Facebook: Monday, August 10, 2009 at 8:47am

That piercing darkness

I am just staying strong, swimming in this cold sea of melancholy
Trying to be stay afloat, despite of feeling lonely
Someday the light will come my way
And from this darkness I will go away
Towards that final distance
That will give purpose to my existence
Or am I already traveling
As I pass, unraveling
Lessons need to be seen and learned
But as I go farther
I just simply...
Burn.


Posted on Facebook: Sunday, July 26, 2009 at 4:00pm

T.I.T.I.

6 years ago, I was browsing the seemingly endless list of profiles in Guys4men. When a message came in with a somewhat nose-bleeding introduction of himself and some subtle words about the likeness and commonalities of the two of us. I was hooked on exchanging messages with him. Until we exchanged numbers, and eventually we met. He is just an ordinary looking guy, so ordinary you will barely notice him... Until he speaks. I was instantaneously drawn to his very colorful personality. We clicked and was stuck like two magnets together. He was The Bohemian.

I only realized just recently that he was the first ever blogger I've met. He was the root cause of all this bohemianism going on in my life and he inspired me to write more, and to continue shooting photographs. He was the one who always say that I have an "eye" for photography; such strong words to come from someone who have sold a number of his own photographical works to museums around the world. He shattered my outlook of labeling and inspired me to embrace diversity, individualism and art. He was the one who introduced me to indie music and its definitions. The first and only one to take me to my now favorite hangout, Saguijo. The first who explained to me that one appreciates being a Filipino more when one have seen the world, he inspired me to travel. He was the epitome of someone who has a magnetic personality, where everyone just seems to be drawn to his aura of profoundness and his awesomely wide taste in music and movies. In short, he was (and still is) one of the most influential men in my life. The one who planted a diverse sense of culture and positive perspectives in my childish head. One of the inspirations of this blog and to the craft I am very passionate about, photography.

Until this day , I still cannot mimic or even come close to his talent of producing the most emotionally stirring photographs with such powerful titles.

Years ago, we made a pact that both of us will get tested for HIV. If we will come out clean, we will celebrate together and have a "negativity" party. Well, that negativity party will never happen my friend.

The Bohemian; writer, film maker, photographer, artist, friend. The Influence, The Inspiration. 

The aftermath

Lying in bed
The aftermath of the orgasmic thrill
Of gushing out words out of my head
Thoughts of embracing my lover
Feeling and smelling his skin
Excites me within


Posted on Facebook: Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 4:46pm

Thoughts in my head before going to bed

You're all I want
My emotions give me such a daunt
I'm so afraid to drown
To the unknown, so I buckle down

I try hard to be brave
To face the unknown future that I so crave
What's important is the present
I'm very happy that's what I meant

I shiver with goosebumps just thinking of you
I swear what I'm feeling for you is true
You literally swept away my blues
It is you that I'm afraid to lose


Posted on Facebook: Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 10:49am

Dreamland

I want to hold your hand
And take you with me to dreamland
We will make that place our reality
So we take a chance on every opportunity.

Come run away with me to that land
We will live a life so grand
We will get there fast
So we can forget about our troubled pasts

Will you take my hand?
And come away with me to dreamland?
Will you hold my hand tightly?
The stars that shine ever so brightly

...let them be our guide.


Posted on Facebook: Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 10:23am

Melancholic quiet screams

Save me from this misery
Of stupid insecurities.

Save me from tormented sanity
Among the beautiful vanity .

Be my soldier of bravery
And sweep me away from this tragedy.

Hold my hand
Take me to your land.

Embrace me tightly
Kiss me passionately.

Amidst this calamity
Let me drink from your mouth
The fluid of sanity
To wash away the tragedy.


Posted on Facebook: Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 9:28am