Of gay labels, labeling, and stereotyping

I'm gay, I'm out, I'm proud, but not hysterically loud. I am often the victim of stereotyping, there are times where I have to explain that there are many "genres" of gay men. During times of getting stereotyped, I say loudly in my head that "it doesn't mean I'm gay that I want to be a girl in whatever way". In my own opinion, being gay is not just gender or sexual preference, but a lifestyle. There are gay men who are flamboyant, who are girly, there are many who are extremely manly but listens to Kylie and squeals like Mariah Carey. There are those who are a bit effeminate or girly but are into indie. The point is, it doesn't mean that one is gay, it automatically means that they view themselves as a woman at heart or deep inside, or they have to be girly, or they have to wear all sorts of gay stuff. I puke(figuratively) at thoughts of me wearing makeup or of imagining myself being a girl or the girl being fucked by gorgeous men in a straight porn, no, I am not like that. I love every inch of my manliness.

With regards to labels, I know most of the time that it is necessary to describe oneself or others. However, some labels have mutated to ridiculous levels that I can no longer comprehend. During the 90s there were only gay men and straight men. Then there were categories invented for gay men, there were effeminates and manly as well as trannies. Now, there are even: Straight-Tripper, Bi-Curious, Straight-Curious, etc; what the fuck are those? Labels are such a hassle to use and such an annoyance to hear, in my world at least. Were those labels invented out of need not use the word gay? Why are there gay men afraid to be labeled as gay or even use the word gay to describe themselves if they are one. Instead , they choose to use those ridiculously mutated senseless words.

I'm sure most gay men have online gay community profiles and get hookups that way. I'm sure and correct me if I'm wrong, that you have encountered such people who uses those crazy terms to market themselves. When you meet them in person, either they are as flamboyant as Boy George or as outrageous as Lady Gaga with a dick and no boobs. Another widely wrongly used word is bisexual. There was an era where that word rampaged the online world. Bisexuals are real, they do exist. In my understanding, bisexuals are individuals with tastes for both sexes. In men, you are not a bisexual if you like dicks yet you cannot get "soldier boy" to stand up in front of a naked woman, or shiver with disgust by the mere sight of it or of their little orchid. Why not gay men just be gay? During online correspondence, why are we afraid when someone describes himself as gay, why are most of us taken aback with such a description? Why not throw away the labels? They have no use after all, specially after that dreaded meet-up when all aesthetics and labels just drop on the floor. After all, some of the most important words in the gay dating world is not really about how one acts, but... "are you top or bottom"?

Unless you already have surgically removed your dick from your groin, we are men who likes men. We are gay. Drop the labels and respect individuality, don't be scared to take a stand on what you are.